


We Can Be Different

by ThisWasntTaken



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Artist Gabriel, Artist Sam, Based on a Tumblr Post, Castiel goes to MIT, F/M, Family Drama, Fluff, Gabriel has low self-esteem, Kinda, M/M, Phone Calls & Telephones, Sam goes to Harvard, Shifting Points of View, Slow Build, Soulmates, Teenagers, Texting, Weechesters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-07
Updated: 2014-02-22
Packaged: 2018-01-11 12:52:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 35,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1173294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThisWasntTaken/pseuds/ThisWasntTaken
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In this world, everyone gets a bracelet on their fifteenth birthday. On this bracelet are the coordinates at which you will meet your soulmate and a tag with the initials of the person you're looking for.</p>
<p>Herein lies the story of four boys--Sam and Dean Winchester and Castiel and Gabriel Novak--and their journeys in life, love, and finding out that even being soulmates doesn't mean it'll be easy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sam

**Author's Note:**

> Based on this post (on my Tumblr): http://skarofalls-gallifreystands.tumblr.com/post/64348541109/what-if-these-were-the-coordinates-of-where-you
> 
> Big, huge thanks to my beta SuperWhoAvengeTrekLock (http://archiveofourown.org/users/SuperWhoAvengeTrekLock/pseuds/SuperWhoAvengeTrekLock)
> 
> Though the story is marked "Mature," there is only one Sam/Gabriel sex scene, and it's not even that fun. Just didn't want to blindside you with sex.

Sam Winchester has a problem. He just can’t find the right accessories! Okay, okay, but in all seriousness, he can’t. You see, on their fifteenth birthdays, everyone gets a bracelet in the mail—with no return address—and on the bracelet are coordinates. In the box with the bracelet is a note that says “This is where you’ll meet your soulmate.” This presents a few problems: when? who? The second is addressed by a set of initials on circular tag attached to the bracelet. There really isn’t a solution to the ‘when’ problem, at least not contained within the bracelet. No, the world actually resolved this issue: first, America standardized its school year as September 1st to June 30th, giving students two full months to travel to their coordinates. Various governments were petitioned and eventually every country allowed students (and workers who hadn’t found their soulmates yet) the time between July 1st and August 31st to travel.

But Sam has a problem. He’s been fifteen for two weeks and he hasn’t gotten his bracelet yet. But could that just mean that his soulmate is younger? No. Dean hasn’t found his soulmate yet, and they’re pretty sure it’s because he or she is too young and hasn’t gotten the coordinates yet, but Dean’s had his bracelet for three and a half years now. And, come July 1st, John, Mary, Sam, and Dean will pack up and fly to Pontiac, Illinois, then Dean will drive to the field his bracelet leads him to and look for CN. Because he’s looking for his soulmate, Dean will fly free. If Sam were looking, being a minor, he, John, and Mary would all fly free.

Another problem with these bracelets is that they usually lead to parks or fields, so a lot of people are in every park and field. It’s not unusual, especially during the summer, to go to a park and hear people shouting initials, trying to find their soulmates. This is a problem for a few reasons. One: the number of people makes locating your soulmate difficult. Two: it’s loud because everyone else is shouting, so your own shouts may go unheard. Three: the number of people around takes away the privacy that should be given as people begin to fall in love. (But the biggest problem of all, as far as Sam can see, is not having a bracelet.)

Not everyone gets a bracelet. Some people are chosen by whatever is figuring all this out and don’t get a soulmate. There’s a bit of “separate but equal” here. On the bright side, companies are more willing to hire people who don’t have soulmates because they don’t take summers off. But on the downside, you’re seen as being flawed. What could be wrong with you that, of seven _billion_ people, there isn’t someone for you? It’s not as though these people live their lives alone—in fact, they often date much more than anyone with a soulmate and can have very successful relationships. Sometimes they date each other and they’ll both get a bracelet with the other’s initials. But there _is_ a stigma, and Sam doesn’t want it attached to him.

So he waits. Two weeks turn into three, then a month, then five. By the sixth month, Sam starts looking for other people around school who don’t have soulmates.

“So, where’s your bracelet, pretty boy?” Jess asks.  
“I don’t have one yet. What about yours?” Sam asks.  
Jess looks down. “I don’t have one, either. Are you old enough?”  
“Yeah. I turned fifteen seven months ago.”  
“I just turned fifteen, but they say that if they don’t come then, they usually won’t come at all. Rather than drowning in my sorrows, I figured I’d just get on with it. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life alone, so I might as well start looking for someone to spend it with.”  
Sam smiles. “I agree. I waited six months and nothing happened, so no use waiting any longer.”

 

Jess and Sam get really close. They’re in Jess’ room, months later, lying on her bed and just staring at the ceiling.  
Sam turns to look at Jess. “Does your mom ever look at you and just look really sad?”  
Jess nods. “Especially when I talk about you. I think it’s dumb, because I’m happy with you. Okay, maybe we’re not soulmates, but I don’t see why we couldn’t work anyway. Is our relationship any less worthy because we’re not validated by bracelets? Who even sends that stuff anyway? How trustworthy is our source about this ‘soulmate’ thing?”  
“Well, soulmates have never gotten divorced,” Sam shrugs.  
“But could they if they wanted to? This is your _soulmate_. You have to make it work. You’re _made for each other_. It seems like a lot of pressure to me,” Jess says. “But you rush into it headlong because you’re ‘soulmates,’ and you don’t take the time to talk first, to become friends. If anything, our relationship is more worthy because we actually know each other. We don’t have bracelets telling us that we like each other; we just do.”  
Sam kisses Jess. “I love you.”  
Jess smiles. “I love you, too.”

 

Sometimes, people without bracelets start dating and they’ll get bracelets with each other’s initials and coordinates. The day after Jess and Sam say they love each other, they’re at Jess’ house and there’s a knock on the door. Jess opens it and the mailman says, “Are you Jessica Moore?”  
“Yeah,” Jess nods.  
“Happy birthday,” he says, handing her a bracelet box.  
“Thank you,” Jess says, and closes the door behind her.

“Is it incredibly hypocritical that I’m really excited about this?” Jess laughs.  
“I’m excited, too,” Sam laughs. “Open it.”  
Jess tears into the box and ignores the letter (everyone does; it always says the same thing), pulling out the bracelet. She looks at the coordinates. “It’s this town,” Jess kisses Sam.  
Sam can feel his heart pounding. He didn’t need any bracelet to lead him to his soulmate—he found her on his own.  
Jess looks at the initials on the tag and her face falls. “Oh.”  
Sam knows already, but he asks anyway. “What’s wrong?”  
“TB,” Jess says slowly.  
“Those aren’t my initials,” Sam says stupidly, helplessly.  
Jess tosses the bracelet to the coffee table. “I don’t care.”  
Sam shakes his head, his chest tight, a lump in his throat. “I do.”  
“Sam.”  
“I’m not gonna be…I can’t anymore. _We_ can’t anymore,” Sam says, standing. “Look, isn’t Brady always teasing you because his initials are JM? His first name is Tyson, so it’s worth investigating. You guys are friends, too. You still won’t be rushing into anything.”  
“Sam, I—”  
“I just want you to be happy, Jess. Now that you know I’m not it, you’re lying if you say I can still do that for you.”  
Jess gets up and kisses Sam. “I’m sorry, Sam.”  
“Me, too.”

 

“Is everything okay, Sam?” Mary asks. Something about moms. She hasn’t seen Sam yet, doesn’t have any way of knowing for sure that it’s him, but she can tell by the way the door closes that it is him and that something is wrong. Sam goes into the kitchen, where Mary is grating carrots. When she looks at him, Mary is sure that everything is not okay, so she offers what she can to cheer him up: “I’m making carrot cake.” Sam just nods. He feels like someone punched him in the stomach; he can’t quite breathe and he might throw up.  
Mary puts the grater down. “Talk to me.”  
“I told Jess I loved her,” Sam says. “And she said it back.”  
“That’s nice, honey. Why are you upset then?”  
“TB.”  
“I’m sorry?”  
“That’s what her bracelet says. It came today.”  
“Oh.” Mary comes around the counter and hugs him. “I’m sorry, Sam.”  
Sam just rests his head on her chest.


	2. Gabriel

Gabriel comes from a big family, which is great, but sometimes it can get annoying. Since he was a child, he’d been very vocal about not wanting a soulmate, and he’d been relieved that his fifteenth birthday passed without any packages. Here’s the annoying part, though: everyone else has a bracelet, and they look at him with pity because he doesn’t. Especially now that the youngest of the pack, Castiel, just turned fifteen and got a bracelet.

“I just think that, if you changed your attitude, you might get a bracelet,” Michael, Gabriel’s oldest brother, says.  
“Mikey,” Gabriel says, pulling the lollipop out of his mouth, “I’m selfish. I _don’t want_ to change my life because of someone else. I’ll just hang out with the girls moping because they _still_ haven’t gotten a bracelet, and have a lot of sex. Seems like a pretty good life to me.”  
“You are disgusting, you’re aware.”  
“I prefer the term ‘hedonist,’” Gabriel shrugs, putting his lollipop back in his mouth.

Michael’s wife comes in for lunch, then Raphael and his wife, Lucifer and his girlfriend, and Rachel and her girlfriend—and Gabriel flees before the rest arrive. Before long, Castiel comes in.

“Heya, kiddo. What’s cracka-lackin’?” Gabriel asks.  
“They are very noisy, and they’re near my room. I have homework to do,” Castiel says.  
Gabriel sits up on his bed. “Come on, Cassie! Loosen up. Want a drink?”  
“No thank you. It’s nearly time for finals and I need to study,” Castiel says, putting his books on Gabriel’s desk.

“Any of your friends gonna be here over the summer?” Gabriel asks, pouring himself a drink.  
“I don’t believe so. Some of them still aren’t fifteen, but they all will be by July.”

“I’m sorry,” Gabriel says, none of his playfulness present.  
“It’s all right. Mom and Dad want us to finish school without distractions. I appreciate that,” Castiel says, punching numbers into his calculator.  
“You won’t feel the same way when all of your friends are gone to find their soulmates and you’re stuck in Vancouver, Washington, especially since you’re a culture nerd and Balthazar talked about going to Ireland.”  
“I am very happy for all of them, but I don’t mind that Mom and Dad won’t let me go.”  
“Okay, Mr. Nonchalant, have you checked to see where these coordinates land you?”  
“Pontiac, Illinois,” Castiel says, a slight blush coloring his cheeks.  
“Eww. What’s in Pontiac, Illinois?”  
“In three years, my soulmate.”  
“Gross.”

 

Summer comes along and Gabriel’s prediction comes true. The family that have found their soulmates get hotels for the summer—this is the peak time to get pregnant, so the child will turn fifteen just before the break. All of Castiel’s friends get their bracelets and go to places like Dublin, Dubai, and Hong Kong (and, of course, places like Lagrange, Georgia). Castiel begins mooning, the same as Anna has for the past two years.

Gabriel thinks that it really isn’t natural to keep people from their soulmates like their parents are doing. He understands, like Castiel does, that they’re worried soulmates will be a distraction that proves fatal to their grades. They just want their kids to get into good colleges, make lots of money, and become soulless consumers just like they are: they only want what’s best for their kids. Still, when they go away on business for the summer and Gabriel’s stuck watching the mourning children, he can’t help wonder if this is the best approach.

 

About two weeks in, Gabriel gets tired of it. He goes into Castiel’s room. “Let’s go see a movie.”  
“You and Anna go. I would just like to be left alone,” Castiel says, burrowing deeper into his cocoon of blankets.  
“Cassie. Sitting around here feeling sorry for yourself isn’t helping anything. You’ve got three years until you graduate, and you’re not going to meet your soulmate before that, whether you go out and enjoy yourself or stay here and be miserable. Come see a movie with us.”  
Castiel nods and untangles himself. “Okay.”

Things seem to go more smoothly after that. Both Castiel and Anna remain in their depressive states, but they come out of their rooms and eat and act like normal people. A few times, Gabriel even catches them postulating about what their soulmates will be like.  
“There’s only one other girl, and her soulmate is a woman, so mine’s probably a man,” Anna says.  
“Technically speaking, though, there is an equal probability that your soulmate is a man and that she is a woman—they’re both fifty percent,” Castiel says.  
“When you factor in gender nonconforming individuals, that number drops slightly,” Gabriel says.  
“You’re right,” Castiel nods.

These conversations are the most lively of the summer, so Gabriel doesn’t discourage them. Then he happens upon this:  
“Do you think Gabriel’s lonely?” Anna asks.  
“No,” Castiel says. “If Gabriel says he doesn’t want a soulmate, I see no reason to doubt him.”  
“But what if he’s just saying it so that we don’t feel bad for him? What if it’s all bravado?”  
“Gabriel has said that he didn’t want a soulmate for as long as I can remember, since before he was fifteen. Why would he be covering up before it happened? Especially considering his attitude toward soulmates is probably why he doesn’t have one.”  
Gabriel just goes back to his room. Later, he sneaks out and goes to a club for people without soulmates, picks a girl, goes to her house, and fucks her until he doesn’t think about all of that anymore.

 

Summer draws to a close, and Anna seems much more cheerful, knowing that was the last time she’d be sitting at home instead of looking for her soulmate. Castiel cheers up as his friends return and, though Gabriel hates to admit this about Castiel, when most of them didn’t find their soulmates.

 

One day, several months later, Gabriel is alone at the house, painting, when the doorbell rings. He answers the door, and it’s the mailman. Fighting his confusion (normally the mailman leaves the mail in the box at the street; it’s a really long driveway), Gabriel asks, “Can I help you?”  
“Is Gabriel Novak here?”  
“That’s me,” Gabriel says.  
The mailman hands him a package. “Happy birthday.”  
“Thanks.”

Gabriel closes the door and runs back to his room. He throws the box on his bed. “Shit!” He doesn’t have to open it to know what it is. No return address, the mailman’s birthday wish. It’s a…Gabriel throws open the bottom drawer of his dresser and puts the box in there. He’ll move it later, to somewhere better hidden, but right now he just doesn’t want to think about it.


	3. Castiel

Castiel turns fifteen in April, and at two o’clock that day there is a knock on the door. Everyone knows it’s the mail, and that the mailman only comes to the door if he has a package, so everyone stays seated and looks at Castiel. He gets up and goes to the door, embarrassed.  
“Are you Castiel Novak?” the mailman asks.  
Castiel dips his head. “Yes.”  
“Happy birthday,” the mailman says, handing him a package and several envelopes.  
“Thank you. Have a nice day,” Castiel says, and shuts the door behind him.

When he gets back to the table, the only one not staring at him expectantly is his brother Gabriel, who claims to be (and seems to genuinely be) disinterested in the entire subject of soulmates. Castiel sets the envelopes and the box down on the table, and Michael takes the mail and pushes the box back toward Castiel. Michael feigns interest in the envelopes, but everyone else stares intently, and Castiel shifts uncomfortably. Gabriel stands, takes the box, and walks out of the dining room, Castiel following. When they get into Castiel’s room, Gabriel closes the door in Michael’s face and locks it behind them. He hands the box back to Castiel, who takes it and goes to sit on the bed.

“Thank you,” Castiel says.  
Gabriel shrugs. “Do you want me to leave? I can go through the window instead of opening the door for the dogs.”  
“You can stay,” Castiel says. Gabriel nods and sits next to him on the bed.

For a long time, Castiel just looks at the box, perhaps willing it to open and willing it to go away. He wants a soulmate, of course he does, but he can’t go anyway, and he isn’t sure he wants the temptation of knowing. He still has three years until he graduates, three excruciating summers until he can finally see his soulmate, and is there any point in knowing that he’ll meet JG in Manhattan until then? Still…  
Castiel takes the box into his hands and takes a deep breath. He opens the box and takes out the top layer of packaging to reveal a silver bracelet. His heart pounding, he picks it up.

40° 52’ 40” N  
88° 52’ 40” W  
DW

Just based on his general knowledge of coordinates, that should be southwest of Chicago (the Buckingham Fountain is at 41° 52’ 33” N, 87° 37’ 8” W), probably in Illinois. Michael met his soulmate at the Buckingham Fountain; Castiel hopes this place is romantic like that.

Sometimes soulmates meet in weird places. Sure, it’s usually a park or a field, but they’ve had to go to Liberty Island, the middle of the Pacific Ocean (turns out there was an island there), and even once inside the gates of Buckingham Palace. Everyone dreams of it being in places like that, but it’s more common that you’re sent to a field in the middle of nowhere and have to search through the shouts of other people. It’s not perfect, but you come away with a soulmate, so maybe it’s worth it.

 

Castiel feels bad for Gabriel, but not for the reasons that the rest of the family does. Gabriel doesn’t want a soulmate, and Castiel thinks that’s fine. Maybe having a soulmate is a bit like getting a dog—sure, the idea is romantic but, no matter how good the dog or how in love the couple, it’s a lot of work. If you know you’re not willing to put the effort in, Castiel doesn’t think you should be faulted admitting that and not getting a dog or not wanting a soulmate. However, since Castiel—the youngest—has gotten his bracelet, the others have been criticizing Gabriel about his lack of a soulmate almost without ceasing.

Michael says, and Castiel agrees, that Gabriel’s attitude about soulmates is the reason he hasn’t gotten a bracelet. Michael posits that Gabriel’s soulmate already has a bracelet and is going to their coordinates every year looking for Gabriel, but Gabriel isn’t there because he’s only thinking about himself and his immediate happiness. He scolds Gabriel that the lifestyle he’s leading now won’t make him happy forever. One day he’ll want his soulmate and they’ll have gotten another bracelet, will think he’s dead. But Gabriel never listens to criticism.

 

Gabriel is wonderful that summer. He’s always had a weak spot for Castiel, but this is exceptional. Despite his disinterest in the subject, Gabriel lets Castiel talk about DW and Pontiac, and the open field he’ll meet his soulmate in. Castiel continues these conversations with Anna, who is seventeen, when it becomes obvious that Gabriel doesn’t care. But Gabriel never tells him so, never says to be quiet, or that it doesn’t matter. He puts up with Castiel’s moping and tries his best to cheer up the siblings he was left in charge of without his consent as they bemoan things he doesn’t care about. Still, the summer drags on.

Castiel’s friends return from all the exotic (and not-so-exotic) places they’d gone to find their soulmates, and only one returns victorious. As much as Castiel hates that part of himself, he’s a little glad that most of them will also spend this year not knowing, but he knows that they feel better than he does, because at least they tried. Their soulmates are just not old enough yet and they’ll find each other soon, but Castiel has no idea about his, can’t even picture meeting DW because poor-quality satellite images and pictures with other people in them are the best idea he has of where they’re supposed to be. He’s not sure he’ll it make another three years.

 

He and Anna still talk a lot about their soulmates, and it makes Michael smile fondly to walk in on these conversations. But Anna sees the light at the end of the tunnel: come next summer, she’ll be searching for her soulmate. Then it’ll just be Castiel, sitting at home, wishing he could look. All of his friends will be off again, visiting or finding their soulmates, and he won’t have anyone to talk to. Gabriel will listen, like he has with all the younger siblings and like he always has with Castiel, but he doesn’t actually _care_. Unlike Anna, Gabriel doesn’t _want_ to talk about it; he just indulges them.

 

Castiel’s sixteenth birthday comes and goes, and summer begins. One day, Castiel is sick and Gabriel goes out for medicine and paints, and Castiel goes into Gabriel’s room to find his movie collection. He checks in a few of the more obvious places and then starts searching other, less obvious, spots. He finds his porn (and toy) collection and quickly shuts that (a bit relieved that he doesn’t have to worry about finding it anymore). He tries the drawers on the dresser and doesn’t find the movies but does find a box that looks suspiciously like the box soulmate bracelets come in. Castiel knows he shouldn’t, that Gabriel could be back any minute, but he takes the box over to the bed and sits down with it.

Gabriel comes in and finds him holding the bracelet.

40° 29’ 0” N  
88° 56’ 56” W  
SW

“How long have you had one?” Castiel asks.  
“I got it a few months ago, just out of the blue,” Gabriel says, taking the bracelet and putting it back in the box, repacking and replacing it in his dresser.  
“You have to go.”  
“No.”  
“Gabriel, your soulmate could be waiting on you!”  
“I don’t want a soulmate, and I’m not leaving you here alone.”  
“Then take me with you.”  
“What?”  
Castiel stands up. “Yours is on the same degree as mine, so they can’t be more than seventy miles from each other. Take me to find DW.”  
“You know how Mom and Dad feel about that.”  
“And I know how you feel about what Mom and Dad think. They’ll never know. Take me.”  
“Fine. We’ll leave as soon as you’re better,” Gabriel says, sinking on the bed.  
Castiel hugs him. “Thank you.”  
“I never would’ve done this for Anna or anyone else, you know.”  
“I know,” Castiel says, going back to his own room.

 

Castiel sleeps fitfully at best for the next several nights, but he’s just so excited about finding DW that he can’t calm down enough to go to sleep and stay asleep.

Two days after Gabriel agrees to take him, Castiel goes into Gabriel’s room and takes his bracelet. He finds out the coordinates are a hotel about a half-hour from Castiel’s field, so he books them there. They leave the next day.


	4. Dean

Dean’s kind of indifferent about soulmates. He’s a fourteen year old boy and the idea of finding someone that you’re stuck with for the rest of your life doesn’t seem like a good one. But when the doorbell rings on his fifteenth birthday, Dean practically runs to the door.  
“Are you Dean Winchester?” the mailwoman asks.  
Dean nods more enthusiastically than he’ll ever admit to later. “Yeah, that’s me.”  
She smiles and hands him a package. “Happy birthday.”  
“Thank you,” Dean closes the door and runs up to his room.

He tears into the box and dumps it out on his bed. It’s just paper. He sorts through the packaging and finds a sheet of paper that says “This is where you’ll meet your soulmate,” but he can’t find the bracelet. He looks through every sheet individually and hears something clatter to the floor. He picks up a silver bracelet.

40° 52’ 40” N  
88° 52’ 40” W  
CN

He doesn’t mention getting his bracelet, but he puts it on and it doesn’t take Mary long to notice. She doesn’t bring it up, just smiles and goes back to making dinner. Dean helps her.

When John gets home from work, he kisses Mary and talks about how delicious dinner smells. He chats with both of them like normal.  
“It’s Dean’s birthday, so we’re making his favorite meal,” Mary says.  
“What? It’s your birthday?” John asks. Dean just nods while he’s mashing potatoes. “That must be why I went out and bought this, then. I knew there was a reason,” John puts a gift next to Dean.  
“Thanks, Dad.”

It isn’t until dinner that anyone brings up what it means that it’s his birthday.  
“So, where is it?” John asks.  
“I don’t know. Northern part of the Midwest,” Dean says. “I haven’t looked it up yet.”  
“Really?” John asks.  
Dean shrugs. “Mom started making dinner.”  
“When you find out, let us know. We need to make plans for the summer,” Mary says.  
“I won’t be able to get the whole time off, but I have a week of vacation days left, so I’ll go up with you,” John says. “Maybe you’ll find them quickly.”  
“I hope so,” Dean says.

 

The coordinates lead to Pontiac, Illinois, and come July they all head out there. John and Sam stay at the hotel and Mary takes Dean to the field his soulmate will be in, and they wait there all day but his soulmate doesn’t come. They go back every day for the whole two months, taking Sam when John has to go back to Kansas, but CN never shows.

They go back every year, John getting two weeks of vacation time by the third year, but they still don’t find CN.

“I don’t understand. Usually, soulmates aren’t more than a year or two apart in age,” Mary says. “I don’t get why CN wouldn’t be here.”  
“There’s always the possibility that—” John starts.  
“Don’t say that,” Mary says.  
“It could be true, though, M. I hate the idea that it is, but it could be. CN could be dead.”  
“That’s not true,” Dean says. “I would know.”  
“Your father is just being stupid, Dean. Of course CN isn’t dead,” Mary says, wrapping her arms around Dean. “They’ll show up.”

 

Sam turns fifteen right before summer, and Dean knows they’ll split up. He’s eighteen now, so he’ll probably go alone so John and Mary can both be with Sam his first time looking. That’s okay. Every day that CN doesn’t show, Dean is a little less confident he or she ever will, and he’s glad that he won’t have to hide it. Last year, it made him physically ill, and Mary almost made him stay at the hotel after she walked in on him throwing up. So, he’ll be glad that Sammy’s on the prowl and the pressure is off him.

Except that Sam doesn’t get a bracelet. Two weeks, three weeks, a month, two months pass, and nothing. Mary goes to Illinois with Dean and John stays home with Sam.

 

Sam starts dating a girl named Jess. She’s cute, smart, funny, and she makes Sam happy. Dean wonders if he should date in the meantime. No one really expects that sex and dating only happen with your soulmate anymore; no one says that, if you don’t find your soulmate until you’re fifty, you should be celibate until you’re fifty. Dean knows a girl from class, Lisa, is going through the same thing, and he starts talking to her.

Dean gets a date with Lisa. He takes her to a nice restaurant and they go see a movie, and they get along really well.

 

“I’m glad we decided to do this,” Lisa says. “I guess I kind of just sit around wondering about MT, but when we’re together, I can just let it go. I don’t have to worry about it. Come summer, we’ll both go look, and if it ends, it ends, but at least we’ll have been distracted in the meantime.”  
“Yeah,” Dean says. “I’ve been wondering about CN for four years now, and I’ll start freaking out again when summer comes and I head to Pontiac, but I’m so tired of worrying all year. Every year CN doesn’t show, it gets worse, and it’s nice to have a minute, especially with someone who understands. My parents met at fifteen, so they don’t know what it’s like to wait.”

“Do your parents ever try to prepare you for the possibility that CN is dead?” Lisa asks.  
“My dad said it once, but he and my mom got into a fight about it after,” Dean says.  
“Have you ever known someone who lost their soulmate?”  
“My Uncle Bobby lost his wife.”  
“What happened?”  
“He got a new soulmate. She was married at the time, so he didn’t think it was her, but her husband died and she got him.”  
“What’s her name?”  
“Jody. She’s a sheriff in the town he lives in.”

“What about anybody whose soulmate died before they met?” Lisa asks.  
“I’ve never known anyone like that. What would happen? Would you just get another bracelet out of the blue?” Dean asks.  
“I don’t know,” Lisa says. “I hope I never know.”

 

On his sixteenth birthday, Sam gets a bracelet. The coordinates are close to Dean’s, so they decide they’ll all fly together. Sam, Mary, and John will stay in a hotel in Bloomington, Illinois, though, and Dean will stay in Pontiac.

 

And so the wait begins. Dean has gotten so that he doesn’t expect CN to show up anymore. He goes to the field and stands for a while, then sits. By the time sunset rolls around, he’s lying in the grass, and he’ll leave at dusk. Dean won’t admit it, but he secretly hopes that he’ll meet CN at sunset. Just, anything to make this impersonal field a little more romantic.

Like every summer before it, days turn into weeks without sign from CN. Dean’s lying in the grass, listening to the few remaining shouts: “FY?” “QD?” “GS?” He takes a peek over toward the sun, sinking low in the west, and he figures that he’ll give it a little bit later tonight. The fireflies are out and the shouts are dissipating; it’s almost peaceful (and it will be peaceful when these last few stragglers call it a day). And then Dean notices his light is obscured. He looks toward the west (his left) once more, and he sees a black-haired boy standing over him.  
“Can I help you?” Dean asks, pushing himself up onto his elbows.  
“You’re sitting at the exact coordinate location of where I’m supposed to meet my soulmate, so I thought it may be wise to ask if you were DW,” the boy says.  
Dean’s musing over how pretty the boy is when the words slam into him. He jumps up. “Are you CN?”  
“I am,” the boy nods, looking suddenly breathless.  
“It’s good to meet you,” Dean kisses him. “That was forward; I’m sorry,” Dean offers his hand. “I’m Dean Winchester.”  
The boy shakes it. “Castiel Novak.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is where the shifting viewpoints get a little more difficult to follow. However, the change is usually shown with extra spaces.

“What do you want to do? We can go back to my hotel,” Dean says.  
“That would be nice,” Castiel nods.  
“Did you drive here?” Dean asks, starting towards his car.  
“My brother drove me. My parents won’t let me drive until I’m a senior.”  
“So, you’re fifteen?”  
“I’m sixteen.”  
“You weren’t here last year, though.”  
Castiel stops. “I’m not supposed to be here now. My parents think we should graduate before we meet our soulmates so that they don’t distract us from our studies.”  
“But…you’re here.”  
Castiel nods. “My parents travel for business during the summer and all my older siblings are off with their soulmates someplace more private than the house we all share.”  
“Not the brother that drove you?” Dean asks, his hand on Castiel’s elbow guiding the boy forward.  
“Well, Anna just graduated and is in Toronto looking for her soulmate, but Gabriel only got his bracelet a few months ago, despite being twenty-one.”  
“He should be looking extra hard, then.”  
“Gabriel doesn’t want a soulmate. He hasn’t even looked at his bracelet, as far as I know. The box was unopened when I found it, and I took the bracelet out several days ago and he hasn’t noticed. We’re staying in a hotel in Bloomington because that’s where his coordinates lead.”  
“My little brother Sam’s coordinates are in Bloomington, too. They’re staying at Eastland Suites or something.”  
“Sam Winchester?” Castiel asks as Dean rounds his Mustang to the driver’s side.  
“Yeah.” Dean gets in and waits for Cas to get in before asking, “Why?”  
“Do you know his coordinates? Gabriel’s are,” Castiel digs around in the pocket of his coat, “40° 29’ 0” N, 88° 56’ 56” W, SW.”  
“I don’t know,” Dean shrugs, “but I think I remember him saying his coordinates were at the hotel they’re staying at.”

“You know what, I’m actually pretty hungry. Do you want to get something to eat?” Dean asks. “We could get burgers, or we could go someplace nicer.”  
“Burgers are fine,” Castiel smiles.

At the diner, Dean asks, “So, how many siblings do you have? All older?”  
“I have Michael, Lucifer, Raphael, Gabriel, Hester, Rachel, Inias, and Anna, and yes, they’re all older,” Castiel says. “You only have a younger brother?”  
“Yeah. It’s just me and Sammy. He’s sixteen now, but he didn’t get his bracelet until his sixteenth birthday,” Dean says. “This might sound terrible, but I was glad that Mom was fussing over him the entire time we were here last year.”

“How long have you been waiting for me?” Castiel asks, looking down at where both of his hands are caught by Dean’s. He smiles.  
“Every day for two months of every year since I was fifteen, so four years now,” Dean laughs. “Well, I guess I started waiting for you when I got the bracelet, so closer to four and a half.”  
“You were all I thought about last summer. Since Anna’s gone this summer, I didn’t know if I was going to be able to handle it. I fell into a near-vegetative state last year, until Gabriel stopped leaving me alone for more than the time it took him to shower,” Castiel says. Dean leans across the table and kisses him. Castiel smiles. “I could get used to that.”  
Dean throws him a flirty half-smirk. “I hope so.”

“I don’t know, Cas, I feel like I’ve been waiting for you for a long time and I just wanna take you back to my hotel and kiss you,” Dean says.  
“You have been waiting a long time. Four years is a long time to have to wait for your soulmate,” Castiel says, leaning back as the waitress comes over.  
“You two are soulmates?” she asks, and Castiel nods. “When’d you meet?”  
“Like, twenty minutes ago,” Dean laughs.  
“What’ll you have? It’s on the house,” she says.

“Have you ever been outside the country?” Castiel asks.  
“No,” Dean shakes his head. “My dad owns a garage. We don’t really want for anything, but we can’t afford travelling on that scale.”  
“Where would you go if you could go?” Castiel asks, leaning forward again.  
“I don’t know. Punta Uva in Costa Rica?” Dean laughs. “Is that ridiculously specific?”  
“No, no,” Castiel shakes his head. “Why there?”  
“There’s this—tree house hotel there that’s really great and I’d love to stay in, you know? I just can’t afford anything like that,” Dean says. “What about you? I guess you’ve been?”  
“I’ve been a few places. Well, I suppose I’ve been a lot of places,” Castiel shrugs. “Our parents used to take us with them for their foreign business trips, but when enough of us were old enough to watch the rest of us, they stopped.” Dean kisses him and, when Dean goes to sit back down, Castiel follows him and kisses him again. Dean licks at Castiel’s mouth and Castiel opens to him, and they end up making out very leisurely over the table until the waitress comes with their food. Castiel blushes furiously and dodges Dean the next time he tries to kiss him.

“Dogs or cats?” Dean asks.  
“Cats,” Castiel nods.  
“Why?”  
“I like to read and watch TV—quiet, sedentary activities—and cats are very independent. It can curl up with me if it likes or it can go chase a mouse,” Castiel says. “Dogs are high-maintenance.”  
“I agree with you, but it’s more because I like to be out of the house and I don’t want to have to always worry about the dog, you know?”  
Castiel smiles. “Perhaps I could convince you to stay in.”  
Dean raises his eyebrows. “I’m sure you could.”  
Castiel’s eyes widen. “I didn’t mean that in that way. I meant cuddling and reading and watching movies, not—well, yes, but not only.”  
Dean laughs. “It’s all cool, Cas. Whatever you’re up for.” Castiel nods. “Besides, I was just thinking that maybe I could get you to go to the gym with me sometimes.”  
“I don’t actually remember the last time I exercised because I _wanted_ to,” Castiel says, “but judging by my personality, it’s likely never happened.”  
Dean laughs. “Come on. Rock climbing, nature.”  
“I like nature very much. I will happily sit in the woods and read while you scale trees or whatever you active people do in the woods.”  
Dean laughs and takes the hand Castiel has on the table into his own, stroking his soulmate’s knuckles. “I don’t think I can communicate to you what a relief it is to finally meet you.” Castiel smiles and looks down.

They finish their meal, Dean gets a slice of pie to go, and they go back to Dean’s hotel. Dean makes good on his promises a) to take him back to the hotel and kiss him and b) to not do anything more than Castiel wants. They’re making out on the bed, slow and leisurely and getting-to-know-each-other, when Dean’s phone rings. Castiel pulls away. “Should you get that?”  
“It’s fine,” Dean says.  
“Who is it?”  
Dean checks his phone. “It’s my mom.”  
“Take it,” Castiel says. “I’ll still be here.” Dean gives Cas another kiss then sits up and answers his phone.

“Hey, honey. You haven’t said that you made it back to the hotel, so I was worried about you,” Mary says.  
“I’m fine, Mom. Cas and I are fine. We stopped by a diner to get some burgers and then we came back to the hotel,” Dean says.  
“Cas?”  
“Oh, yeah. I made a new friend. His name is Castiel Novak.”  
“…CN?”  
“Yeah.”  
“Dean, that’s so great! John, Sam, Dean found CN!”  
“Mom. Calm down,” Dean says. “Listen, I’m gonna hang up now, but Cas says he and his brother are staying at the same hotel you’re at, so we’ll probably come down soon. There’s really nothing in Pontiac.”  
“Okay. Have fun. Be good,” Mary says.  
“Be safe!” John calls.  
“John,” Mary scolds laughingly.  
“Bye, Mom.”  
“Bye, sweetie.”

“I suppose I should let Gabriel know I’m staying the night,” Castiel says.  
“I can take you back, if you want. It’s only a half-hour drive,” Dean says.  
Castiel pulls him back down to the bed, facing him, “I want to stay. I just need to tell Gabriel.”  
Dean throws his arm over Castiel. “Mmm. How about later?” Dean kisses him.  
“As much as I don’t want to do it now, I’ll want to do it even less later, so I’m going to do it now,” Castiel says, but he doesn’t even sit up to make the call. He stays in Dean’s arms through the short conversation, and his lips find Dean’s almost before the goodbye is completely out of his mouth.


	6. Chapter 6

The next morning, Gabriel wakes up just before eleven and rushes down to get the free breakfast.  
“Whoa, hey,” a guy says, coming away from the juice machine and barely dodging Gabriel.  
“Sorry. I slept late,” Gabriel says.  
“You’re looking for the breakfast? They’ve packed up already,” the guy says.  
“What? Breakfast is until eleven.”  
“It’s, like, ten fifty-five.”  
“Which is not eleven,” Gabriel says.  
The guy laughs. “I have the last few muffins, if you want them. They’re lemon poppy seed.”  
“I would love them,” Gabriel says and holds his hand out. “I’m Gabriel Novak. Thank you for your charity, kind sir.”  
The guy shakes it. “Sam Winchester. I was just gonna eat them later and I shouldn’t, so thank you for taking them away from me,” he says. “They’re in my room, so do you want to come up, or I can meet you somewhere?”  
“Were you heading anywhere?”  
“Out to the gazebo,” Sam shrugs.  
“I can meet you out there. I don’t want your girlfriend to worry or whatever.”  
Sam laughs. “I don’t have a girlfriend. I’m actually here to meet my soulmate.”  
“Well, best of luck in that.”  
“Thanks.”

 

Sam goes out to the gazebo and must admit that Gabriel looks beautiful, staring into space with his chin on his hand, sitting on one of the two benches in this gazebo. He sits down next to Gabriel. “Here you go.”

“Thank you,” Gabriel says, taking the muffins from Sam.  
“I popped them in the microwave for a few seconds to warm them up.”  
“That’s awesome,” Gabriel says, but his smile seems distant.

“So what are you doing out here?” Sam asks.  
“My baby brother’s soulmate was in Pontiac; they met last night. He booked this hotel, so whatever.”  
“Is your brother—what was it—I don’t remember but CN?”  
“Yeah,” Gabriel sits up. “Yeah, you know him?”  
“His soulmate’s my brother.”  
“Really?” Gabriel asks. “Small world.”

“So, your parents didn’t come with your brother?” Sam asks.  
“They travel in the summer. Cassie’s not really supposed to be looking, anyway. Our parents don’t want us to get distracted by our soulmates, so they make us wait until we graduate,” Gabriel sighs with his whole body. “But they’re away, and Cassie and I got into a fight about some stuff, so he convinced me to bring him.”  
“He’s not gonna be able to _hide_ finding Dean. What’s he gonna do, then?”  
“I don’t know. My parents don’t expect much from me, so it’s Cassie’s problem. I’m just transport.”  
“What do you mean, your parents don’t expect much from you?”  
“I’m not that smart, and I don’t want to be a doctor or a lawyer. I’m the disappointment; every family has one. I guess that’s why Castiel and I get along so well. He’s brilliant, and he’ll be successful at whatever he decides to do, but we’re both kind of black sheep. Castiel’s so quiet and reserved, a huge change from the rest of the family. Everyone but Castiel opened their bracelets in front of everybody and looked up the coordinates right there. Castiel got uncomfortable and started blushing like crazy. I had to take him to his room and lock the door.”

“What about your bracelet?” Sam asks. Gabriel shrugs. “I understand. I didn’t get mine until my sixteenth birthday, and my friend Jess got hers months after she turned fifteen.”  
“I don’t really care. I don’t want a soulmate,” Gabriel says.  
“Why not?”  
“I’m selfish. I don’t want to take another person into account every time I make a decision. I like flying solo.”  
“I guess it’s good to be able to admit that,” Sam says.

 

Sam goes back to his room and his phone rings. “Hey, Dean.”  
“Hey, Sam. Listen, what are your coordinates?” Dean asks.  
“Fine, Dean. How’re you?”  
“I’m great, Sammy, and I’m glad to hear you’re good. Now my question?”  
“40° 29’ 0” N, 88° 56’ 56” W, GN,” Sam says.  
“Well, I’ll be damned. You were right,” Dean says.  
“Who was?”  
“Cas was. His older brother Gabriel is staying at that hotel. He’s your soulmate,” Dean says. “Cas says he’s about 5’8 with ‘honey-colored hair and eyes.’”  
“That’s actually pretty accurate,” Sam says. “But he said he didn’t have a soulmate.”  
“Hello, Sam?” a guy asks.  
“Cas?” Sam asks.  
“I prefer Castiel. You’re on speakerphone; is that okay?”  
“It’s fine, Castiel.”  
“My brother got his bracelet several months ago, and he knows that it exists but he hasn’t looked at it much because he doesn’t want a soulmate. He’ll say that it’s because he’s selfish, but he’s one of the most selfless people I know. He has a very low opinion of himself because our parents disapprove of his being an artist. I believe he is afraid that he wouldn’t be what his soulmate wanted. You seem to have spoken to him?”  
“Yeah. We talked for a little while.”  
“He hasn’t seen his bracelet that I know of, but I’m sure he knows why I booked that hotel instead of one in Pontiac.”  
“After I mentioned that I was here looking for my soulmate, he got kind of distant. Then _every time_ I brought up the subject after that, I could see him tense.”  
“I think he may know.”  
“What do I do?”  
“It may work best to simply confront him. Just ask him if he knew,” Castiel says. “Just don’t be combative. Gabriel shuts down at conflict.”  
“Okay,” Sam says. “What if…what if he doesn’t want me?”  
“Then he’s an idiot,” Dean says.  
“Dean, he’s my soulmate. Has anyone ever been _rejected_ by their soulmate before?”  
“No, so I don’t see any reason you’re so special, princess.”  
“Gabriel will come around, okay?” Castiel asks.  
Sam nods more to convince himself than for Castiel’s benefit. “Okay.”  
“Go get ‘em, tiger,” Dean says.

 

Sam goes back to the gazebo and Gabriel is still there—or, rather, there again. He has a sketchbook and he’s showered and in a different shirt (he probably threw some jeans on just to be presentable for breakfast).  
“Did you know?”  
“Usually when people say ‘did you know,’ they follow it with some amazing fact or interesting revelation,” Gabriel says without looking up from his sketchbook.  
“Did you know you’re my soulmate?”  
Gabriel finally looks up. “Is that a line?”  
“Dean just called and asked for my coordinates. Castiel has your bracelet or something, and they’re the same. I’m SW, you’re GN, we’re soulmates.”  
“Look, Sam, I’m sorry,” Gabriel scrubs his face. “I am so sorry that you got stuck with me for a soulmate, but I’m just not interested.”  
“Why not?”  
“I’m selfish. I’m no good for you. You’re a smart kid; you were talking about _Stanford_ , Sam. I’ve never even been on a college campus. I—”  
“That doesn’t mean you’re not smart. Everyone has things they’re good at,” Sam says. “Look at your sketchbook. This is amazing.” Sam sits down next to Gabriel. “That’s actually _really good_.”  
“Just, stop, Sam,” Gabriel gets up and leaves.  
Sam doesn’t cry, but he does start to feel sick. He goes to his room to lie down.

Mary comes in on the second day. “Honey, is everything okay?” She sits on the bed by his legs and puts a hand on his knee.  
“I met my soulmate,” Sam says.  
“Why’s that not great?”  
“He…can that even happen? He rejected me.”  
“What?”  
“He doesn’t want a soulmate. Me or anybody else.”  
“He…I don’t understand.”  
“I don’t either,” Sam says, wiping his eyes.  
Mary lies down with him. She makes him eat lunch and dinner, but neither time does he eat much. She finally gets him out of the room the next morning.

Mary takes them out to the gazebo and sits down on the bench opposite Sam. She doesn’t make him talk, only eat, and Sam appreciates that.

“Long time no see,” Gabriel says. Sam looks away.  
“I understand. Should I go inside?”  
Sam doesn’t answer, so Gabriel sits down on the bench Sam’s on, but as far away as possible.

“I wish you wouldn’t mope,” Gabriel says.  
“What do you want from me?” Sam asks.  
“I know I’m the worst person in the world to ask you to cheer up, but no amount of feeling like shit is going to change things,” Gabriel says. “The view here is great, and there’s actually stuff to do around here, which I didn’t expect from a town like this. Go out, have fun. Go to one of those clubs for people who don’t have soulmates,” Gabriel pauses. “Actually, no. Don’t go there, if your goal is to not run into me.”  
“I’m sixteen,” Sam says.  
“Drinks are free if you tell a story like yours,” Gabriel shrugs.

“Why are you like this?” Sam asks.  
“Sorry,” Gabriel shrugs.  
“No. You don’t get to say ‘sorry’ and make me drop it. Why? You say you don’t want a soulmate then you come to exactly where we’re supposed to meet—”  
“It’s not like I knew!”  
“But you keep coming back and now you’re striking up conversations with me! What do you want? To throw it in my face? To watch me suffer? I don’t believe you’re that cruel.”  
“You don’t know anything about me!” Gabriel says. “Don’t romanticize me because some hunk of metal has my initials on it.”  
“Castiel seemed to think you were pretty great,” Sam says, and Gabriel looks down.  
“I really am sorry you got the short end of the stick with this, kiddo. If it were up to me, there would be some really hot, smart, funny girl in my place right now. You’re not exactly hard to look at; she’d be lucky.”  
“But for you, it’s just disaster.”  
“No. It doesn’t really affect me one way or another. You’re the one who got dealt the shit hand; that’s what I’m trying to say.”  
“Okay, well, I’ve officially lost my appetite,” Sam says, standing. He throws the plate away and goes inside. Gabriel looks at Mary sheepishly.  
“Sorry you had to see that.”  
“I’m just sorry Sam had to go through it,” Mary stands.  
Gabriel laughs humorlessly. “You _would be_ the mom, wouldn’t you?”

 

“Can I see them?” Sam asks, coming onto the gazebo. Gabriel doesn’t speak, doesn’t even look up, but he passes the sketchbook over.

“They really are good,” Sam says, flipping through the notebook. “Do you ever do people? Oh,” he pauses, seeing faces pass by, and backs up a few pages. “That’s…”  
“No!” Gabriel takes the sketchbook back. “I don’t do people.”  
“That certainly _looked—_ ”  
“I have to go,” Gabriel says.

“Hey, honey,” Mary says.  
“Am I interrupting?” Sam asks.  
“Never,” Mary smiles.  
“Do you want to watch a movie together? We can go to the theater or just see what’s on TV; I don’t care.”  
“We’ll go out,” Mary nods. “John?”  
“You two go have your mother-son date night. I’m gonna hop in the shower and get to bed,” John says.  
Mary kisses John, “I’ll be back later.”  
“Have fun,” John says.

“I’m glad you want to go out,” Mary admits. “I was getting even more worried than usual.”  
“He drew me,” Sam says.  
“What?”  
“He let me see his sketchbook, and at least three of the pages are drawings of me. When I found them, he snatched it away and left.”  
“I’m gonna be honest, Sam, I _cannot_ figure this boy out,” Mary says.  
“Me either,” Sam sighs.

 

“Hey, Sammy!” Dean says, coming into his room the next morning.  
“Dean?” Sam asks, rubbing his eyes. “What time is it?”  
“Eight?” Dean guesses.  
“Go away!”  
“Dean, let’s just—”  
“Castiel?” Sam asks, sitting up.  
“Haha!” Dean says. “Sammy, this is Castiel. Cas, this is Sam.”  
“Hello, Sam,” Castiel says.  
“Hey, Castiel.”

“So, how’s it going with Gabriel?” Dean asks, sitting on the bed.  
“Shitty. Thanks for reminding me,” Sam says, lying back down, his back to Dean.  
“What’s going on?” Dean asks.  
“He’s…I don’t know. I just want to go back to sleep, Dean.”  
“Okay. We’ll talk later,” Dean says. “Let’s go, Cas.”

Later, Sam sends Dean a text.  
 _To: Dean  
I’m up. Where are you?_

_From: Dean  
We’re downstairs. Come eat breakfast._

“Hey,” Sam says, sitting down with them.  
“Hey, Sammy,” Dean says.  
“Hello, Sam,” Castiel says. “Would you like to talk about Gabriel?”  
“Cas,” Dean says. “Not really breakfast talk.”  
“There’s nothing to talk about, anyway,” Sam says.  
“Surely there is, or you would have been in his room,” Castiel says.  
“He doesn’t want me,” Sam shrugs.  
“Mom says it’s hit you pretty hard,” Dean says.  
“He’s my soulmate, Dean. Yeah, I’d say it hit me pretty hard.”

“Cassie!” Gabriel calls. “I didn’t know you were coming back!”  
“Good morning, Gabriel,” Castiel says. “We had to stay in that hotel until we wouldn’t encounter a fee for cancelling.”

“Since you found Mr. Dreamy, can we go home soon? I’m getting bored of this town,” Gabriel says.  
“ _This guy_ is your soulmate, Sam?” Dean asks, and Sam only shrugs and looks away.  
“Oh! Sam, I didn’t see you there—which is actually astounding.”  
“There aren’t a lot of other places for me to be,” Sam says.  
“Do you want me to kick his ass? I’m kind of itching to kick his ass,” Dean says.  
“Dean—” Sam says.  
“I wouldn’t appreciate that,” Castiel says.  
“You haven’t heard my mom talking about how this _douchebag_ is fucking with my baby brother,” Dean says.  
“I didn’t ask for this. I didn’t even want to come. Hell, I really wanted Michael to be right: one day he’d just get a new bracelet, assume I’d died,” Gabriel says. “I had no intentions of being here and throwing this in his face. If you want someone to blame for what your brother is going through, you’ve been sharing a room with him.”  
“He’s right, Dean. I foolishly assumed that if I brought Gabriel to his soulmate, he would change his mind,” Castiel says. “I was wrong, and I am so sorry, Sam, for what you have been through because of it.”

“So, we can go?” Gabriel asks.  
“You can go whenever you please. I’ll get Dean to take me home,” Castiel says. “Don’t check out, because we’ll need your room.”  
“All right. I’ll get outta here soon,” Gabriel says.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A large part of the communication in this and the next several chapters takes place through texting. If you're bothered by dialogue-heavy works, you will probably not have made it this far, and I apologize.

Gabriel didn’t ask to be here. He didn’t ask to have some starry-eyed kid following him around and avoiding him in turns. He didn’t ask to start sketching this boy’s face when he wasn’t thinking. He didn’t ask to go to the store and buy too many paints because none of them were just that color in the boy’s eyes. He didn’t ask for this.

Sam’s the first person—besides Castiel, and Castiel thinks Gabriel hung the moon or something—who ever complimented Gabriel’s art. Maybe not. Maybe when Gabriel doodled as a kid and ran to show Mom, she spared a “that’s nice, honey,” but she was never interested in it as a serious endeavor. When Sam tried to give Gabriel an empty compliment about his art, he sat down and gave it again with meaning as soon as he saw the work. Maybe that’s why Gabriel turned the sketchbook over. He never does that—it’s always met with scorn in his household, with a “why can’t you do something serious?” But he gave it to Sam without question. He couldn’t look, was bracing himself for the “that’s nice, honey, but why don’t you do what big boys do now?”, but it never came. Sam flipped through the pages and said “They really are good,” then “Do you ever do people?” Gabriel’s heart jumped at that, and at the “Oh,” that quickly followed. He grabbed for the sketchbook, but Sam had already seen. He was talking, but Gabriel cut him off by saying, “No! I don’t do people.” Then Sam was saying something else but Gabriel excused himself and left.

When Cassie came back, it was like the light at the end of this ridiculous tunnel.  
“Since you found Mr. Dreamy, can we go home soon? I’m getting bored of this town,” Gabriel says.  
“ _This guy_ is your soulmate, Sam?” Castiel’s soulmate—Dean?—asks, and Sam only shrugs and looks away.  
“Oh! Sam, I didn’t see you there—which is actually astounding,” Gabriel says, and he really hadn’t, but Gabriel is pretty skilled at not noticing things he doesn’t want to see.  
“There aren’t a lot of other places for me to be,” Sam says.  
“Do you want me to kick his ass? I’m kind of itching to kick his ass,” Dean says.  
“Dean—” Sam says.  
“I wouldn’t appreciate that,” Castiel says.  
“You haven’t heard my mom talking about how this _douchebag_ is fucking with my baby brother,” Dean says.  
“I didn’t ask for this. I didn’t even want to come. Hell, I really wanted Michael to be right: one day he’d just get a new bracelet, assume I’d died,” Gabriel says. “I had no intentions of being here and throwing this in his face. If you want someone to blame for what your brother is going through, you’ve been sharing a room with him.”  
“He’s right, Dean. I foolishly assumed that if I brought Gabriel to his soulmate, he would change his mind,” Castiel says. “I was wrong, and I am so sorry, Sam, for what you have been through because of it.”

“So, we can go?” Gabriel asks.  
“You can go whenever you please. I’ll get Dean to take me home,” Castiel says. “Don’t check out, because we’ll need your room.”  
“All right. I’ll get outta here soon,” Gabriel says.

Gabriel had really been hoping that Castiel would come with him, because even as he packs his things, he finds himself lingering. _Maybe just one more night._ Gabriel shakes his head and says aloud, “I’ve got to get out of here.”

Before he leaves, Gabriel goes out to the gazebo. Sam looks up as he steps onto it.  
“Hey, Kiddo.”  
“Are you leaving?”  
“Yeah. Not much here for me.”  
“I’m here,” Sam murmurs, and Gabriel can only barely hear him.  
“I just… Before I left, I wanted to apologize again. I’m really sorry that you got someone like me for your soulmate. You’re a good kid, Sam. You’re going places, and you deserve someone better than me.”  
“I don’t want someone better.”  
“You don’t even know me.”  
“You won’t let me!”  
“Sam, please. I’m—”  
“Why’d you draw me?” Sam asks.  
“Because I’m stupid. I have a habit of being stupid. In fact, it’s pretty much all I do,” Gabriel says.  
“Can we just talk?” Sam asks. “Sit down.”  
“I can’t. I have a plane to catch,” Gabriel says. “You’re a good kid, Sam. It was nice to meet you.”

 

Castiel sends his brother off, thanking him for leaving the car to Castiel (who mostly knows how to drive, thanks to Gabriel), and goes out to the gazebo. This is where Gabriel’s coordinates lead, to the gazebo, and Castiel finds that Sam is out there. He wonders if he and Dean will ever go back to the field, although he can’t imagine why. It’s not like it’s someplace romantic. Even this is better than an empty field.

“Hello,” Castiel says.  
“Hey, Cas—Castiel,” Sam says.  
“It’s okay if you’d like to call me ‘Cas,’” Castiel shrugs. “Asking people not to is my kneejerk reaction to nicknames because Gabriel comes up with the worst.” Sam laughs. “I wanted to see how you were. Dean seems mostly to want to smash and punch because of the whole thing, but I understand that you don’t feel the same way.”  
“I guess I’m just kind of resigned. I’ve tried everything I could think of. There’s just no way to fix it. I guess I was always destined to have a hard time with my soulmate. I should have taken the late arrival as a sign of things to come.”  
“Gabriel was twenty-one when he received his bracelet, and I think he was very lucky to get a soulmate like you.”  
“Thanks, Cas.”

 

“If you’re hiding me from your parents, when will you have to go back?” Dean asks.  
“Oh,” Castiel says.  
“What?”  
“I never…I didn’t consider going back,” Castiel says. “Clearly, I have to, but I hadn’t considered when I’d go or what I’d do to hide you.”  
“You can just say that I came to your town to find my soulmate and we became good friends. That’ll explain phone calls and stuff.”  
“Perhaps my parents were right,” Castiel says. “I don’t want to go back. I do believe you’ll be a distraction.”  
Dean leans in so that his breath ghosts over Castiel’s neck as he speaks. “I’ll try my best.”

 

“Yeah, but I wish you were still here,” Dean says over the phone.  
“I do, too, Dean,” Castiel sighs. “However, I don’t have anywhere I could reasonably be to use as an excuse when my older siblings come back.”  
“I know,” Dean sighs.

 

Weeks later, “Castiel?” Michael knocks on the door as he opens it. “Oh. You’re on the phone. Have you finished your homework? I’ll look it over for you.”  
“I haven’t finished it yet,” Castiel says. “What did you need?”  
“You usually finish before we get started on dinner, so I was going to ask if you needed any help. Who’s on the phone?”  
“Homework help,” Castiel says. “We’re going over this math problem together.”  
“Ah. Good, then,” Michael says, and closes the door behind him.

“So,” Dean says, “about that math problem. If I buy two hundred watermelons at thirty cents each, what is the speed with which you will take off your clothes?”  
“If you plan to use two hundred watermelons, I will never take off my clothes,” Castiel says.

 

“Cassie, Michael is pissed,” Gabriel says. “Your grades are slipping. You have to finish your homework before you call Dean.”  
“I still have a 4.0. My grades are not slipping,” Castiel says.  
“I’m just warning you. Michael is furious.”

Before dinner that night, Michael confronts Castiel. “Just what kind of math help have you been getting that your grade is lower than ever?”  
“What’s my grade? Last I checked, it was a ninety-one.”  
“Which is six points lower than last year.”  
“Michael—”  
“When I walked out of your room last time, I heard you talking to this ‘homework help’ about taking off your clothes,” Michael says. “What exactly is going on?”  
“Nothing! Jeez,” Castiel says. “Additionally, if I’m still getting an A, then my grade isn’t your business. In fact, it’s not your business, anyway. You’re not my dad!” Castiel grabs his coat and storms out of the house.

Michael turns to Gabriel, grief-stricken. “Go pick him up. Take him wherever he wants to go, just don’t let him walk. You’re probably the only one he’ll get in the car with.” Gabriel nods and heads out.

Gabriel pulls up next to Castiel. “Hey, honey. You going my way?”  
“Well, nothing’s going mine. I might as well go yours,” Castiel says, opening the door to Gabriel’s car.

“You might have been a little less harsh back there,” Gabriel says.  
“He’s not my dad.”  
“Who is, then?” Gabriel asks. “Mom and Dad gave birth to us; Michael raised us. He’s trying his best, and he only wants the best for you. I grew up with Mom and Dad. You have it good, Castiel.”  
“Why does he expect so much of me?”  
“Because he knows you can do it, Cassie. He’s angry because you’re not doing what you’re capable of doing. No matter how much I complain about it, that’s why he doesn’t support my painting. He thinks I can do more.”  
“What if I can’t?” Castiel asks. “Since I’ve met Dean, I don’t want to do my homework and study for tests. I just want to talk to him.”  
“Castiel, you are such a great individual. Don’t let Dean make you half of a couple, okay? You’re so wonderful, and I don’t think Dean would want that light to die out. Remember coming into my room to study because they’re too loud? If you need to, leave your phone in your room and come to mine until you finish your work.” Castiel nods.

“Where to?”  
“Balthazar’s, if you don’t mind. We’ll do our homework together.”  
Gabriel nods and smiles. “I don’t mind at all.”

 

Gabriel goes back to his normal life. He goes to “soulless bars,” as they’re called (the term was originally derogatory—if you don’t have a soulmate, you must not have a soul—but they’ve taken it back), and he sleeps with whomever he wants. If “whomever he wants” has been male more often than before, it’s nobody’s business.

But it wears thin. This happens occasionally. The people are all familiar; there’s no such thing as a one-night stand, even in a city this size. Most people have soulmates, so the soulless bars are close to empty.

One night, several months after meeting Sam (New Year’s Eve, in fact), Gabriel begins scrolling through his phone—if he can’t have a one-night stand, he can at least have a good night with someone he likes well enough—and he goes all the way down and starts going back up before he sees it. “Sam Winchester”.  
“What?” Gabriel presses the contact and selects “call”. As it rings, Gabriel’s heart races and he worries it’ll pound out of his chest.  
“Hello?”  
“Sam?”  
“Yes. Who is this?”  
“It’s Gabriel. Sorry; I was just looking through my contacts and saw your name. I thought it was a mistake or something.”  
“Gabriel Novak?” Sam asks, and Gabriel can hear him shifting around.  
“The one and only, unfortunately for you.”  
Gabriel hears a door close and Sam asks, “What are you doing?”  
“Looking for a booty call. What are you doing?”  
“So you called me?”  
“Like I said, I thought it was a mistake. I’m gonna go back to my search now.”  
“I’ll come out.”  
“Sam, don’t.”  
“Where do you guys stay?”  
“Sam. That’ll only hurt you, and you know it.”  
“It’s not like you care,” Sam says.  
“I’m not a terrible person, Sam. No, I really don’t care about you any more than any other random guy I meet, but I wouldn’t do this to them, either. If they cared about me—”  
“Loved you?”  
“Yes. I wouldn’t have sex with someone who loved me knowing I didn’t feel the same,” Gabriel says. “A lot of what my parents taught me may be lost, but I did remember the thing about not being cruel.”  
“What if I want to? What if I just want what you’ll give me?”  
“I can’t give you enough, Sam. It’ll just hurt you,” Gabriel says. “Please stop.”

“Can we be friends?” Sam asks.  
“I think that’ll hurt, too,” Gabriel says.  
“I don’t need you to protect me! If you really don’t care, why are you so worried about me getting hurt?!”  
“Calm down.”  
“I can’t even be your friend? You hate me that much?”  
“I don’t hate you, Sam. Maybe we’d be somewhere if I did, but the opposite of love isn’t hate; it’s indifference.”  
“So, you’re completely indifferent to me? If I died tomorrow, you wouldn’t care?”  
“Not _completely_ ,” Gabriel says. “I’d go to your funeral. I’d feel bad. But I’d get on with my life, just like with everyone that’s died before. Don’t think you’re so special, Sam. I don’t really care about anyone.”  
“Why not?”  
“I don’t know. Maybe I didn’t get hugged enough as a child. Maybe I’m secretly a sociopath. Listen, I have to go.”  
“Right. You’ve got a booty call to find.”

 

Sam doesn’t leave it, though. He doesn’t call back, but he sends Gabriel texts sometimes. The first one comes about two weeks after the phone call.

_From: Sam Winchester  
13 Jan 2014 15:53  
I just got a 100 on the first test of the semester!_

_From: Sam Winchester  
15 Jan 2014 17:38  
Before she got her bracelet, I dated a girl named Jess. She’s happy with Brady. I’m happy for her._

_From: Sam Winchester  
17 Jan 2014 22:54  
Brady, Jess, and I were all friends before they got together. We all went bowling today and it felt like old times. I’m glad it wasn’t weird._

_From: Sam Winchester  
19 Jan 2014 16:43  
Nothing really to report. I just realized that I’d been texting you every other day and I didn’t want to miss a day._

_From: Sam Winchester  
21 Jan 2014 07:36  
Ugh. I like learning, I really do, but I hate school sometimes._

_From: Sam Winchester  
23 Jan 2014 20:14  
Avoiding homework. Any weekend plans?_

_From: Sam Winchester  
25 Jan 2014 17:29  
Yeah. Me, either. Staying at home and listening to Dean and Cas be disgusting, I guess._

_From: Sam Winchester  
22 Jan 2014 16:31  
Dean and Cas are talking about Cas coming out here for Dean’s birthday. How is he gonna do that? Don’t you guys live in Washington?_

“Cassie!” Gabriel calls, heading out of his room.  
“Yes?” Castiel asks, peeking out his bedroom door.  
“Can I come in?”  
“Of course,” Castiel motions him inside.

“What’s this about going to Dean’s for his birthday?” Gabriel asks.  
“I was going to ask you and Balth to cover for me. How did you know?” Castiel asks.  
“It’s not important.”  
“It’s important to me,” Castiel says. “I’m not telling you about my plan if you don’t tell me how you knew.”  
“Sam told me, okay? It’s not a big deal.”  
“Sam Winchester?” Castiel asks. “Your soulmate?”  
“That’s the one, yes,” Gabriel says shortly.  
“You two are talking?”  
“Not really. He just texts me sometimes,” Gabriel says. “Listen, you can’t just drive to Kansas—no, scratch that. You can’t drive!”  
“Balthazar was gonna take me.”  
“Why would he do that?”  
“Because he’s a good friend. He understands not being able to see your soulmate all the time.”  
“I won’t cover for you, Castiel. When you leave, I’ll tell them everything.”  
“Even that you took me?”  
“They don’t expect anything from me, Castiel! I’m the fuck up! Oh, big surprise, Gabriel broke the rules. Castiel breaking the rules, though?”  
“Gabriel—”  
“Cassie. Do your schoolwork. Wait until summer. He can come down for the whole time; no one but you and I will be here. I just don’t want you giving up your golden child status for him, okay?”  
“Fine,” Castiel says.  
“Do you understand, or are you just agreeing?” Gabriel asks.  
“Both,” Castiel sighs. “I realize that I’m changing because of him. I just—I want to be with him all the time.”  
“I know, Cassie, but you can’t. You made the choice to meet him. Remember how it wasn’t really an issue all last year?”  
“I know. I’m sorry,” Castiel says. Gabriel kisses his head and leaves.

_To: Sam Winchester  
27 Jan 2014 16:54  
Thanks for letting me know, Sam._

_From: Sam Winchester  
27 Jan 2014 16:55  
No problem. What are you doing?_

_From: Sam Winchester  
27 Jan 2014 16:56  
Apparently pissing my brother off._

_To: Sam Winchester  
27 Jan 2014 16:56  
Not doing too hot with mine, either._

_From: Sam Winchester  
27 Jan 2014 16:57  
Why can’t he come out?_

_To: Sam Winchester  
27 Jan 2014 16:58  
This is why I didn’t want a soulmate. Cassie is changing because of Dean. He’s putting off homework and breaking rules. He’s turning into me, and I don’t like it._

_From: Sam Winchester  
27 Jan 2014 16:59  
He sounds a lot like Dean, actually. On this end, Dean’s getting work done early and following all the rules so that he can talk to Cas. They say you start to act like your soulmate._

_To: Sam Winchester  
27 Jan 2014 17:00  
Well, no offence to your brother, but I’m not crazy about this new Castiel._

_From: Sam Winchester  
27 Jan 2014 17:01  
What is it you’re worried about? Maybe I can get Dean to talk to him._

_To: Sam Winchester  
27 Jan 2014 17:02  
I’ve been talking about it for…since he got back. It’ll reek of me._

_From: Sam Winchester  
27 Jan 2014 17:02  
Still. It can’t hurt to try._

_From: Sam Winchester  
27 Jan 2014 17:10  
If you don’t want to, that’s fine, too. I didn’t mean to push._

_To: Sam Winchester  
27 Jan 2014 17:12  
I guess I just wish he’d get his homework done before he talked to Dean. I don’t like him lying, either, but he can’t really tell the truth about this one._

_From: Sam Winchester  
27 Jan 2014 17:13  
I think Dean calls him, so he doesn’t know whether the homework is done or not. I can ask him to wait for Castiel to call from now on._

_To: Sam Winchester  
27 Jan 2014 17:15  
I’d appreciate it._

 

“Hey, Dean?” Sam asks.  
“What?”  
“Calm down. Cas isn’t even supposed to know you,” Sam says. “I think Gabriel’s frustrated because Cas is changing a lot since he’s met you. His grades are falling and he’s breaking the rules a lot.”  
“And?”  
“What if, instead of calling Cas, you told him to call you when he finished his homework? He gets distracted by you and his family is worried. You said yourself that Michael stays after him these days. Maybe if he got his homework done before he talked to you, he’d have more time to talk before Michael came in and wouldn’t leave.”  
“Maybe,” Dean nods.  
“And then you wouldn’t be so grouchy anymore.”  
“Shut up,” Dean throws a couch pillow at Sam. “Bitch.”  
“Hey!” Sam throws the pillow back at Dean. “Jerk.”

_To: Gabriel  
27 Jan 2014 19:49  
I talked to him. He agreed to have Cas call him after he finished his homework._

_From: Gabriel  
27 Jan 2014 23:01  
Thanks, kiddo._

Sam had assumed that Gabriel was just going back to not responding, since it took three hours for him to respond, but he did. Maybe it was just because this was about Castiel. Even back at the hotel, Cas was the thing that got Gabriel talking.

_To: Gabriel  
28 Jan 2014 15:01  
Are you working on any new art projects?_

_From: Gabriel  
28 Jan 2014 16:29  
A mural-sized canvas painting of your face. Any school projects?_

_To: Gabriel  
28 Jan 2014 16:29  
What a coincidence. I’m trying to map the shape of your jaw on a graph._

_From: Gabriel  
28 Jan 2014 16:35  
I’m actually painting right now._

_To: Gabriel  
28 Jan 2014 16:35  
My face, of course._

_From: Gabriel  
28 Jan 2014 16:57  
Of course._

_To: Gabriel  
28 Jan 2014 16:58  
Will you send a picture of whatever it is when you’re done?_

_From: Gabriel  
28 Jan 2014 17:36  
If I don’t hate it._

_To: Gabriel  
28 Jan 2014 17:36  
Send a picture even if you do._

_From: Gabriel  
28 Jan 2014 18:04  
It depends on how much I hate it._

_To: Gabriel  
28 Jan 2014 18:06  
Crossing my fingers, then._

 

Sam resumes texting him every other day. Sometimes Gabriel responds, sometimes he doesn’t.

_From: Sam Winchester  
9 Feb 2014 15:27  
I used to draw a lot when I was a kid. I really liked doing it. I wonder why I stopped._

_From: Sam Winchester  
9 Feb 2014 17:59  
Mom says Dean teased me so I stopped. She struggled for months to get me to draw again because I “had a lot of potential.”_

_From: Sam Winchester  
11 Feb 2014 14:36  
I think I’m going to pick up drawing again. Any tips?_

_From: Sam Winchester  
13 Feb 2014 16:25  
Oh come on. You could at least answer about that, Gabe._

_To: Sam Winchester  
13 Feb 2014 16:38  
Get a sketchbook without any of your old work in it and set aside 15 mins every day to draw._

_From: Sam Winchester  
13 Feb 2014 16:40  
Thanks, Gabe! I’ll do that._

_From: Sam Winchester  
13 Feb 2014 16:41  
Also, my old work is from ten years ago. It would feel weird to draw in the same book._

_From: Sam Winchester  
14 Feb 2014 08:12  
Happy Valentine’s Day! Any plans?_

_To: Sam Winchester  
14 Feb 2014 14:34  
I’ll probably go out to a bar or something. Soulless people tend to flock to bars on Valentine’s Day. You?_

_From: Sam Winchester  
14 Feb 2014 14:36  
That’s cool, I guess. I’ll stay home, probably watch a movie. Mom and Dad are going out, and Dean’s going with this girl Lisa, whose soulmate lives in Italy._

_To: Sam Winchester  
14 Feb 2014 14:54  
What timezone do you live in, kiddo?_

_From: Sam Winchester  
14 Feb 2014 14:55  
Central. Why?_

_To: Sam Winchester  
14 Feb 2014 15:02  
Sometimes you text me really early. You texted me at 8 this morning._

_From: Sam Winchester  
14 Feb 2014 15:05  
Sorry! It was 10 my time! I’ll try to remember that from now on!_

_To: Sam Winchester  
14 Feb 2014 15:07  
Thanks, kiddo._

“All right. We’re heading out. Make sure you lock up,” Michael says. “Should just be you and Castiel now.”  
“Okay,” Gabriel says absently. “Have fun.”

“I’m going out,” Castiel says.  
“Where to?”  
“Balth and I are going to dinner. Dean’s going out with someone, so I might as well.”  
“Have fun. Be safe,” Gabriel says.  
“You, too, Gabriel. I know you like to have sex with strangers on Valentine’s Day.”  
“I will,” Gabriel says. “Lock the door behind you.”  
Castiel nods. “Bye.”

Gabriel sighs and pulls out his phone.  
 _To: Sam Winchester  
14 Feb 2014 17:22  
What movie are you watching?_

_From: Sam Winchester  
14 Feb 2014 17:24  
I haven’t decided yet._

Gabriel takes a picture of his movie shelves.

_To: Sam Winchester  
14 Feb 2014 17:31  
Got any of these?_

_From: Sam Winchester  
14 Feb 2014 17:34  
Clueless…?_

_To: Sam Winchester  
14 Feb 2014 17:34  
Clueless is a great movie. Shut up._

_From: Sam Winchester  
14 Feb 2014 17:35  
I’ve never seen it._

_To: Sam Winchester  
14 Feb 2014 17:35  
Do you have it? You should watch it._

_From: Sam Winchester  
14 Feb 2014 17:36  
I don’t know. Let me check my mom’s room._

_To: Sam Winchester  
14 Feb 2014 17:38  
Cheeky brat._

_From: Sam Winchester  
14 Feb 2014 17:41  
We do have it._

_To: Sam Winchester  
14 Feb 2014 17:43  
Watch it._

_From: Sam Winchester  
14 Feb 2014 17:44  
Are you going to watch it with me?_

_To: Sam Winchester  
14 Feb 2014 17:45  
Why not?_

They text throughout the movie. It seems that Gabriel’s is a minute or so ahead of Sam’s, because sometimes Gabriel will comment on something, and Sam will respond with confusion, then with “Oh, that one! That’s funny,” or something similar.

_From: Sam Winchester  
14 Feb 2014 20:03  
Are you going to the bar now?_

_To: Sam Winchester  
14 Feb 2014 20:05  
I think I’m gonna stay in. It’s just the same old crowd anyway._

_From: Sam Winchester  
14 Feb 2014 20:06  
That’s cool. I’ve got a few more of those movies. Wanna watch another?_

_To: Sam Winchester  
14 Feb 2014 20:09  
Which ones?_


	8. Chapter 8

“Sam. Put the phone away during dinner,” Mary says.  
“Yes, ma’am,” Sam says.

_To: Gabriel_   
_22 Feb 2014 18:13_   
_I have to stop texting during dinner, but I’ll talk you later._

“Who are you texting so much, anyway?” John asks.  
“Um, Gabriel,” Sam says, trying to be nonchalant. His phone vibrates and Mary gives him a look, so he doesn’t check it.  
“Gabriel Novak?” Mary asks.  
“Yeah,” Sam shrugs.  
“I thought you two weren’t…” Mary trails off.  
“I did, too. I don’t know how he got my number, but he called me on New Year’s Eve, and we started texting.”  
“And now you’re…”  
“I don’t know. Friends, I think? But then sometimes it seems like more,” Sam says. “On Valentine’s Day, we watched a bunch of movies together, even though he said he was going out to a club.”  
“How are you with that?” Mary asks.  
Sam sighs. “Obviously, I wish we could be like normal soulmates, but I really like Gabriel, and I think maybe Jess was right. Maybe it means more when you know someone before throwing yourself into a relationship with them because a piece of metal shipped from who-knows-where has their initials on it. Well, I mean, maybe you appreciate it more?”

_From: Gabriel_   
_22 Feb 2014 18:14_   
_Okay. Text me after dinner, kiddo._

“Samuel,” Mary scolds, holding out her hand.  
“I wasn’t gonna respond. I was just checking,” Sam says, giving his phone over.  
“You were saying, John?” Mary asks.  
“I have some big news,” John says. “I know we’ve lived in Lawrence for all your lives, but I got a job offer in Portland, Oregon. It’s a much better job with better pay. Mary and I have discussed it, and we’re probably gonna go. Now, it won’t be until after the summer, and—Dean—you don’t have to go, because you’re nineteen and can stay on your own. We own this house, free and clear, so you’re welcome to stay here. Sam, if you want to stay here, maybe M or Dean can stay with you until you finish high school.”  
“I _wanna_ go,” Dean says. “Cas says Portland is about fifteen minutes from his house.”  
“That so?” John asks.  
“Yeah. They live in Vancouver, Washington, so they go there all the time, because Portland doesn’t have a sales tax.”  
“Honey, why don’t we just move to Vancouver, then?” Mary asks.  
“Did you hear the boy, M? Portland doesn’t have sales tax,” John says.  
“John,” Mary scolds laughingly. “Sam and Castiel are about the same age, right?”  
“Cas is a few weeks older,” Dean nods.  
“And you two get along pretty well, right?” Mary asks.  
“Yeah,” Sam shrugs. “We don’t talk all the time, but he’s always been nice to me.”  
“See? He’ll have a friend already. Plus Gabriel; it’ll make the transition easier for him.”  
“Mom, you do realize that Castiel’s family is loaded, right? He goes to a really nice school.”  
“We have money saved up. Sam has a college fund that he probably won’t need. With as smart as he is, I expect at least a _few_ full-rides offered to him,” Mary says.  
“No pressure, Sammy,” Dean laughs, clapping a hand on Sam’s back.  
“With a better high school, that might be true,” Sam says.  
“So, we’re all okay with that?” Mary asks. The boys nod, and everyone looks to John.  
“Fine,” John says. “Three sets of puppy eyes. It’s cruel and unusual.”

_To: Gabriel_   
_22 Feb 2014 19:15_   
_So, apparently we’re moving to WA in the fall._

_From: Gabriel_   
_22 Feb 2014 19:16_   
_Yeah, Cassie’s telling me all about it now. You’re gonna go to school with him?_

_To: Gabriel_   
_22 Feb 2014 19:16_   
_Apparently so. I’m still kinda dazed. Mom makes decisions and convinces others with a speed unrivaled in any other land mammal._

_From: Gabriel_   
_22 Feb 2014 19:19_   
_Cassie and Dean seem excited. Now I wish he hadn’t lied. Then he could bug other people about this._

_To: Gabriel_   
_22 Feb 2014 19:20_   
_I’m actually surprised Dean isn’t being more gushy about this. I know it’s not usually his style, but he can get that way sometimes (when he talks about Cas)._

_From: Gabriel_   
_22 Feb 2014 19:23_   
_Aww. Ain’t soulmates adorable?_

_To: Gabriel_   
_22 Feb 2014 19:24_   
_I think it’s nice._

_From: Gabriel_   
_22 Feb 2014 19:26_   
_Of course *you* do. You love the idea of soulmates._

Sam doesn’t respond. He can see no way that getting into this will be productive, so he just doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t want to make some grand declaration of how romantic his suffering is, how beautiful his pain is, so he keeps his thumbs to himself. It’s not like Gabriel will care, anyway. They’ll just talk the day after tomorrow.

“Hey, Honey,” Mary says.  
“Hey, Mom. Where’s Dad?” Sam asks.  
“He’s out working on that damn bike again. Why?”  
“Just wondering.”

“What’s up?”  
“It’s just Gabriel,” Sam says. “I think sometimes he feels the need to remind me that we’re just friends. He found out that we’re moving to Vancouver and I guess he kinda freaked? We were talking about Dean and Castiel, but he made a point of saying he didn’t care for soulmates.”  
“What’d you say?”  
“I figured it was best not to.”  
Mary nods. “That’s probably so.” She pats the seat next to her.

Mary found out that Sam watched _Clueless_ and has picked on him about it since. So, when he sits down next to her and she suggests they watch a movie, she picks _Pretty in Pink_. Sam pops the popcorn while Mary sets the movie up, and they she wraps her arm around him as they settle in. Sam thinks it’s a pretty good movie, too, but he probably won’t tell Mary that.

During the movie, Sam’s phone buzzes, but he doesn’t check it until the movie is over.

_From: Gabriel_   
_22 Feb 2014 20:08_   
_I’m sorry, kiddo. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings or anything._

_From: Gabriel_   
_22 Feb 2014 20:24_   
_Kiddo?_

_From: Gabriel_   
_22 Feb 2014 21:10_   
_Okay. I’ll talk to you later, Sam. Sorry._

_To: Gabriel_   
_22 Feb 2014 21:42_   
_I don’t know what you expected me to say in the first place._

_From: Gabriel_   
_22 Feb 2014 21:49_   
_I know. It was stupid of me to say. I have a habit of being stupid._

_To: Gabriel_   
_22 Feb 2014 21:50_   
_I know you don’t want to be my soulmate. You don’t have to throw it in my face._

_From: Gabriel_   
_22 Feb 2014 21:52_   
_It’s not *you*, Sam._

_To: Gabriel_   
_22 Feb 2014 21:53_   
_Oh, right. “It’s not you; it’s me.”_

_From: Gabriel_   
_22 Feb 2014 21:56_   
_It is me, Sam. You have to believe that there’s nothing wrong with you._

_To: Gabriel_   
_22 Feb 2014 21:58_   
_Why do you even care?_

_From: Gabriel_   
_22 Feb 2014 21:58_   
_Because I care about you, Sam. Okay? I care. You’re a great kid and I don’t want you to doubt that it’s ME who got caught in a manufacturing error, not you._

_To: Gabriel_   
_22 Feb 2014 21:59_   
_Okay. I’ve gotta get my homework done, so I’ll talk to you later._

_From: Gabriel_   
_22 Feb 2014 22:02_   
_Okay. Text me tomorrow._

On Saturdays, John takes Sam to baseball practice while Dean and Mary hang out. Then every Sunday, Mary and Sam do the shopping and then hang out, just the two of them. John and Dean usually spend the whole time working on the bike, though Mary hates that they do it in this weather.

“How’s school?” Mary asks, walking next to Sam in the park.  
“It’s good. My classes are going well, baseball’s going well. I think I’m gonna join the art club.”  
“That’s great, honey! Oh, I’m so glad you’re drawing again; you were so good when you were younger.”  
“Thanks, Mom,” Sam says.  
Mary pulls him in and kisses his head. “You can always use me as a subject.”  
“I know, Mom. Thanks.”

_From: Gabriel_   
_23 Feb 2014 14:38_   
_Hey, kiddo. What’re you up to?_

_To: Gabriel_   
_23 Feb 2014 15:02_   
_Hanging out with my mom. I’ll text you later._

_From: Gabriel_   
_23 Feb 2014 15:03_   
_Please do. I think we need to talk._

“Would you like to go home?” Mary asks, glancing at Sam’s phone.  
“No. I was telling him I was out with you.”  
“Did he text you first?” Mary asks.  
“Yeah. He normally doesn’t, but I think he thinks I’m mad at him after last night,” Sam says.  
“About him reminding you that he doesn’t want a soulmate?”  
“Yeah, I guess.”  
“You do have a right to be mad at that. Don’t let him make you think you’re being irrational.”  
“He’s not trying. Mostly he just keeps apologizing. At least now he’s saying he cares.”  
“That’s good, Sam, but don’t use this to manipulate him, okay? Be honest with him. Forgive him and move on. It won’t be good for you if you harp on it, either.”  
“I know. I just…when I have to talk to him about how he doesn’t want me…” Mary can see that Sam’s about to break down, and she directs him to a bench. He sits down, still speaking. “I want him to be happy, I do, but I can feel my throat closing in on itself when I have to tell him it’s okay to just be friends, or if he just wants me to leave him alone altogether. If I were really gonna be honest with him, I’d probably just say ‘please love me,’ and leave it at that.”  
Mary wraps her arm around her son. “Well, that may not be the best route. What about telling him what you told me last night? That sometimes you wish you two could be normal soulmates and it hurts when he tries to remind you that he’s not interested. You remember quite well, I’d say.”  
“I just—sometimes I don’t want to talk to him at all. I just want to keep this picture in my head of this beautiful boy painting cityscapes. I don’t want to see the man that doesn’t want me.”  
“Don’t romanticize him, Sam. He’s a person, not a fantasy. John does things that I absolutely _hate_. I cannot _stand_ that he takes you boys out in the middle of winter and makes you work up a sweat; you’re going to get sick. The best loves aren’t easy, baby. In fact, they require the most work of all,” Mary says. “But! If you need some time—if you just can’t handle it right now—tell him that. Tell him that you need to worry about yourself for a little while and you’ll talk to him when you’re able to again.”  
Sam nods his head. “Okay. Thank you, Mom.”  
“Come on, is there another reason you need me?”  
“The cooking is nice. The ‘giving me life’ was fairly important, too.”

Sam sits down on his bed, against the headboard.

_To: Gabriel_   
_23 Feb 2014 17:53_   
_What’s up?_

_From: Gabriel_   
_23 Feb 2014 17:55_   
_I was wondering the same thing about you._

_To: Gabriel_   
_23 Feb 2014 17:56_   
_What do you mean?_

_From: Gabriel_   
_23 Feb 2014 17:56_   
_You kinda flipped out last night._

_To: Gabriel_   
_23 Feb 2014 17:58_   
_I could say the same about you._

_From: Gabriel_   
_23 Feb 2014 17:59_   
_I apologized for that. What do you want me to do, sacrifice a virgin to make up for it?_

_To: Gabriel_   
_23 Feb 2014 18:00_   
_Do you even know any virgins?_

_From: Gabriel_   
_23 Feb 2014 18:01_   
_Cassie, if I’m not mistaken._

_To: Gabriel_   
_23 Feb 2014 18:03_   
_Can you just call me?_

_From: Sam Winchester_   
_23 Feb 2014 16:03_   
_Can you just call me?_

Gabriel stares at the text for maybe three minutes, maybe longer. It feels like the world is gonna open up and swallow him. He tells himself he’s being irrational. There’s no reason this should go too badly, and what’s the worst that can even happen? Sam can say he doesn’t want to be friends anymore? Sure, it’ll suck that Gabriel hurt Sam like that, but big deal. It’s hardly the first time Gabriel’s lost a friend. Hell, he probably does that more often than he actually makes them. So why does he feel like he might throw up? He takes a deep breath and hits the “call” button.

Sam takes a second to answer, and Gabe almost hangs up, but he hears, “Hey.”  
“Hey, kiddo.”  
“Okay,” Sam takes a deep breath. “So here’s what I got upset over last night: I know you don’t wanna be my soulmate, okay? You don’t have to remind me.”  
“I wasn’t trying to remind you, Sam. I just state my opinion of soulmates whenever the subject comes up.”  
“Maybe we shouldn’t talk about it anymore, then, because it does hurt. I think it sucks that we can’t be normal soulmates. I think I should get that,” Sam says. “But I think you should get whatever makes you happy because I want nothing more than for you to be happy and it _sucks_ because we can’t both be happy.”  
“Sam, you make me happy,” Gabriel says. “I used to think you were an annoying kid, but you’re smart and funny. I like it when you text me because you make me laugh.” Gabriel sighs. “I’m sorry that being friends isn’t enough for you.”  
“I want to be your friend, Gabriel. I just…I also want to kiss you and tell you I love you and—I don’t know—not feel weird about the way I feel. I always feel like I’m walking on eggshells with you because if I say the wrong thing, you’ll clam up again and I won’t be able to talk to you at all, and if you’re gonna do that today then I’m going to say everything.”  
Gabriel’s throat tightens and he tries to stop Sam. “Sam—”  
“I love you, Gabe. I think you are so great and it hurts me when you talk about yourself like you’re trash. I hate the thought that you can’t see how lovely you are. And this isn’t just your soulmate talking; Cas thinks the world of you, and he says that Michael sees so much potential in you. Gabe, I just…I want to cover you in kisses and tell you how perfect you are and I know that if I did that, I’d lose you forever and that _sucks_ , because I think you should know how wonderful you are.”  
Gabriel—king of comebacks and snarky remarks—can’t say anything. His throat closes up and he works his mouth, desperate to say something, desperate to make Sam stop, but he can’t. Gabriel can’t say anything, and so he just hangs up.

 

It takes Sam a moment to notice that, rather than just not speaking, Gabriel has broken off the call. He stares at his phone. Then he feels sick and runs to the bathroom.

_To: Gabriel_   
_1 Mar 2014 12:43_   
_Cas told me today was your birthday, so happy birthday._

_From: Gabriel_   
_1 Mar 2014 18:38_   
_Thanks._

_To: Gabriel_   
_1 Mar 2014 18:47_   
_And sorry._

_From: Gabriel_   
_1 Mar 2014 18:53_   
_Me too._

 

“I don’t know, Cas. Sam’s just been moping around these past few days. Before, he was all _chipper_ , always texting, and now he’s…a zombie,” Dean says.  
“Gabriel has been going through something similar. I wonder if they’ve had a falling out,” Castiel says. He looks up as Michael comes in. “Just a moment; Michael is here.”  
“I thought you were done.”  
“Michael was out when I finished, so I called you.”  
“Call me later,” Dean says.  
“I will.”  
“I love you.”  
“And you,” Cas says. “Bye.”

Michael looks up from Castiel’s paper. “It looks good. I’m glad you’ve gotten past whatever it is you were going through.”  
“I suppose I had issues dealing with soulmates and everything. It’s pretty tough being the only one that doesn’t have one and can’t search.”  
“Well, you’ve always got Gabriel,” Michael sighs. “Unfortunately.”  
“I do, and I think he deserves more credit than he gets for that. Gabriel doesn’t care about soulmates at all, but he sat with me and Anna, and then just me, and listened to us mope and whine and be petulant about ours for the whole summer. I suppose he deserves an award.”  
Michael claps Castiel’s arm. “You’re a good kid, Castiel.”

“Hey,” Dean says.  
“Hey,” Castiel says. “Did you take that opportunity to talk to Sam?”  
“About boy troubles? No,” Dean says.  
“Why not? You’re very aware of the suffering involved in not being able to be with your soulmate. You told me once that you became physically ill,” Castiel says. “What if Sam is going through something similar?”  
“And what if Gabriel is?”  
“Very well, then. I’ll talk to Gabriel after dinner.”  
“And you’ll talk to me until dinner,” Dean says, and Castiel can hear the smile in his voice.  
“Indeed I will.”

“Castiel!” Michael calls. “Dinner!”  
Castiel opens his door and shouts, “Just a minute!”  
“Dinner?” Dean asks.  
“Yes. We’ll talk tomorrow.”  
“I can’t wait.”  
Castiel laughs. “You’re so corny,” he says. “If you wanted… I mean, I know you prefer to talk on the phone, but Michael will get suspicious if we call _again_ , so you could text me.”  
“I will.”  
“Good,” Castiel says. “I have to go. I love you.”  
“I love you, too.”

After dinner, Castiel goes to Gabriel’s room.  
Gabriel looks up from pouring himself a glass of whiskey. “Hey, Cassie! Want a drink?”  
“It’s a school night, Gabriel.”  
“You always find a way to say no,” Gabriel muses, sitting on the bed.  
“What would you do if I said yes? Would you give me alcohol?”  
“I’d rather you drink with me than at a party,” Gabriel shrugs.  
“I don’t think that’ll be an issue, either,” Castiel says.

“Anyway, I don’t guess you came in here just to turn down a drink. What’s on your mind?” Gabriel asks, patting the bed next to him.  
Castiel sits down and takes a breath. Then, quickly, “Have you and Sam Winchester had a fight?”  
“What?”  
“Dean said that Sam is acting the same way you are, and I wondered if it’s because you’ve had a fight. Dean won’t talk to Sam about it, so I’m talking to you.”  
“And just how am I acting?”  
“Depressed,” Castiel shrugs. “This is the third drink you’ve had today, and you don’t normally have more than one. You’re drowning your feelings.”  
“Okay, pipsqueak! Let’s talk about something besides my drinking now.”  
“How about your relationship with Sam Winchester?”  
“I don’t need my baby brother poking around my love life, okay?”  
“You broke up? I didn’t know you were dating,” Castiel says. “He’s your soulmate, though. How—”  
“Castiel!” Gabriel says, and Castiel breaks off immediately.  
“You called me Castiel,” he says. “I don’t remember the last time you did that.”  
“I don’t remember the last time you made me this angry,” Gabriel says. “My life is none of your business. Don’t think that just because we’re friendlier than Michael and I are I’m supposed to tell you everything. Whatever happens in my life is _my_ business, and I am in no way bound to give you updates.”  
Castiel looks at his hands in his lap. “Sorry. I thought I could help.”  
“You put his number in my phone. You’ve helped enough.”  
“How did you…?”  
“You’re the only one who even knows Sam exists, Cas.”  
Castiel relaxes at the nickname, though he does note that it’s not Gabriel’s usual, affectionate “Cassie.” “I was just—”  
“Trying to help, I know. I’d appreciate it if you didn’t anymore.”  
“Sorry.”  
Gabriel wraps an arm around him. “It’s okay.”  
“I think I’ll take that drink now.”  
“In your _dreams_ , Cassie. Get out of here,” Gabriel says, pushing Castiel’s back. Castiel laughs and leaves.

_From: Dean_   
_4 Mar 2014 20:32_   
_Have you talked to him?_

_To: Dean_   
_4 Mar 2014 20:37_   
_He wouldn’t tell me, but given his level of defensiveness, I’d say that I was correct. It appears they’ve fought._

_From: Dean_   
_4 Mar 2014 20:37_   
_But how bad a fight? Make up in a few days, or never speak again??_

_To: Dean_   
_4 Mar 2014 20:38_   
_It’s already been a few weeks, Dean. Also, I’ve never had Gabriel yell at me the way he did when I asked about this. I don’t think it’ll be getting better anytime soon._

_From: Dean_   
_4 Mar 2014 20:40_   
_They’re gonna have to make up eventually. We’re moving in six months._

_To: Dean_   
_4 Mar 2014 20:41_   
_Well I, for one, cannot wait._

_From: Dean_   
_4 Mar 2014 20:43_   
_That makes two of us._

_To: Dean_   
_4 Mar 2014 20:44_   
_It appears as though the numbers are equal against it, though._

_From: Dean_   
_4 Mar 2014 20:45_   
_He’d have to convince Mom to go against it to have three against three, and since you live there, it’s just not gonna happen._


	9. Chapter 9

Four months go by without Sam texting. Gabriel switched the two Sams in his phone so that Sam Winchester’s was just Sam and the other Sam was Sam Malone, but it becomes a moot point because Sam doesn’t text after his birthday. Sometimes Gabriel’s phone will go off and he’ll just assume it’s Sam, but it never is.

Gabriel’s stopped going to soulless bars because he’s just not interested in the whole scene anymore. He still sleeps with whomever he feels like, and he even goes out on a few dates (which is revolutionary) and Michael almost throws a party when Gabriel and his date go their separate ways at the end of the night.

Then, one night, Gabriel is texting a girl he’s gone out with, and his phone buzzes. He unlocks it, expecting a response about the date request, and his heart almost stops.

_From: Sam_   
_10 Jun 2014 21:17_   
_I think I’m going to head up to Illinois this summer, if you’re interested._

_From: Jenna_   
_10 Jun 2014 21:18_   
_Friday at 8 is good for me._

_To: Jenna_   
_10 Jun 2014 21:19_   
_Great. See you then!_

What the hell. Sam is going to Illinois this summer? Why? They haven’t even spoken in months! It seems like an easier peace offering would have been to just send a text. Why do they have to wait until the summer to make up, if that’s what he wants? If that isn’t it, then what is?

 

Gabriel gets a letter inviting him to an art colony in Amsterdam. It asks that he reply by October 1st, then has a comment about scatterbrained artists.

 

“Gabriel, wake up,” Michael says, coming into his room.  
“What?” Gabriel asks, confused. “What time is it?”  
“It’s eight o’clock in the morning. We’re all going out for breakfast before Mom and Dad leave to go on their trip.”  
“Okay,” Gabriel says, sitting up. “Not like I went to bed at three because no one told me or anything.”  
“Good thing, then. We’re waiting on you.”

Breakfast with Mom and Dad is just like every other meal with Mom and Dad: terrible. Gabriel’s sure that the other people enjoy themselves, but that’s because Mom and Dad approve of what they’re doing with their lives. Gabriel, on the other hand, is the black sheep. He gets criticized about his (supposed lack of a) soulmate, his art, the fact that he went to bed at three; whatever they can think of, they say. Mercifully, blessedly, they have a flight to catch and have to go.

From the breakfast, all of the siblings disperse. Anna goes to the airport to visit her soulmate and all of the others go off _with_ their soulmates.

_From: Sam_   
_6 Jul 2014 09:32_   
_Flight leaves in a couple hours. Hope I’ll see you there._

“Cassie?” Gabriel asks.  
“Yes?”  
“Will you be all right by yourself? Um, I have to go somewhere, and the only flight out is at ten.”  
“I can call Dean to see if I can go to his house,” Castiel says.  
“Okay, great!”  
While Castiel is on the phone in the other room, Gabriel calls and gets a ticket to Illinois.

 

“Dean, your phone is ringing in the break room,” a waitress says as Dean passes her in the kitchen.  
“Okay. Will you take my tables for a minute? I’m going on break.”  
“Sure,” she says.

The phone has stopped ringing when he gets in there, so he calls back.  
“Hello, Dean.”  
“Hey, Cas. What’s up?” Dean asks.  
“Gabriel is going away and I wondered if I would be welcome to stay with you for the summer.”  
“Of course you’re welcome!”  
Castiel pauses. “Shouldn’t you ask someone?”  
“I’m not really around anyone, but Sammy went to Illinois, so I don’t think it’ll be an issue. It’s just me and Dad,” Dean says. “We are packing, though, so it might get kind of boring.”  
“I’d be happy to help with that. Anything to get you to Washington.”  
“That’d be great,” Dean says. “When are you coming?”  
“Gabriel wants to leave today, so I’d like to get out of here by tomorrow.”  
“Yeah. Get on the next flight out; just let me know when to pick you up.”  
“Okay. Thank you,” Castiel says.  
“Of course.”  
“I’ll call you back in a little to let you know when.”  
“I’m kind of busy, so if you wouldn’t mind just texting me, that’d be great.”  
“Okay,” Castiel says. “I love you.”  
“I love you, too.”

“Is that your soulmate?” Jess, Sam’s old girlfriend and one of the waitresses, asks.  
“Yeah. Apparently his brother, Sam’s soulmate, is heading out somewhere and Cas needs a place to stay.”  
“With you, naturally,” Jess laughs.  
“If Brady needed a place to stay, where would you expect him to go?”  
“Sam,” Jess shrugs.  
“Cas’ friends all have soulmates in other places, so they’re gone. Just like Sam,” Dean says.  
“I guess it’s nice that you’ll be able to see him before you move,” Jess says.

 

“Dean says of course I’m welcome,” Castiel says. “He also gave me a hint of where you might be going.”  
“Not a word, Castiel.”  
Castiel holds his hands up in surrender. “The next flight to Topeka is at two, but I won’t get to Topeka until after ten. You should be in Illinois by then, so I’ll call you.”  
“All right. I’ll go print the tickets.”

Gabriel doesn’t see Sam that day. He doesn’t text him that he’s there and he doesn’t go out to the gazebo, but probably soon.

 

Castiel gets off the plane in Topeka and goes to collect his luggage. When he’s walking out to the reception area, he sees Dean and breaks out into a run.

“Hey, Cas,” Dean kisses him.  
“Hey,” Cas smiles. “How’re you?”  
“I’m all right. How’re you?”  
“I’m good,” Castiel says. “Hey, Mr. Winchester.”  
“I’ve told you before to call me John,” John says.  
“Okay,” Castiel nods. “Thank you for letting me stay with you, John.”  
“No problem.”

In the car, John asks, “Now, not that I mind, but why the short notice on coming by? Where’re your parents?”  
“My parents travel every summer, and my older siblings get hotels with their soulmates; my older brother Gabriel normally stays with me. However, Sam is going to Illinois, and I believe he told Gabriel, because Gabriel got a text at nine thirty this morning and suddenly had to get a flight ‘somewhere.’ Then when I said he should have landed in Illinois, he didn’t correct me,” Castiel says. “Speaking of Gabriel, I need to call him.”

“Hey, Cassie,” Gabriel says.  
“Hello, Gabriel. Have you made it to Illinois yet?”  
“I have reached my destination, yes. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be on the phone with you. Or a stewardess would be asking me to turn off my device. Oh no! My phone call made the plane crash! We’re going down! Tell my wife I love her!” Gabriel hangs up.  
“Um. What?” Castiel asks, pulling the phone from his face. “Ah. I bet Gabriel drank on the plane.”  
“Is he drunk?” Dean asks.  
“I think so.”  
“Did he drive to the hotel?”  
“If he is in Illinois, then the hotel is five minutes from the airport. He likely forwent getting a rental at an airport and got a taxi instead.”

“You wanna get something to eat when we get back in town?” Dean asks. “I wanna take you to The Wheel.”  
“Where’s that?” Cas asks.  
“It’s kind of important in Lawrence, I guess,” Dean laughs. “I work there.”  
“Really? I’ve always been told that if you work in a restaurant, you’ll never want to eat there again.”  
Dean shrugs. “I’d probably never hang out with my friends if I didn’t want to go to The Wheel.”  
“Dean, it might be best to do lunch at The Wheel. Crazy college kids?” John says.  
“He’s probably right. IHOP?”  
“That sounds great,” Castiel nods.  
“I’ll drop you off at your car,” John says.  
“Where’s your car?” Castiel asks.  
“At The Wheel. I ended up working over and Dad had to come pick me up. It’s just ten minutes to the IHOP from there.”  
“Weren’t you at work when I called?”  
“I took someone else’s morning shift.”  
“We don’t have to go out, Dean. Let’s just go home.”  
Dean kisses Castiel. “Please do me the honor of going to IHOP with me.”  
“Well, when you put it like that,” Castiel laughs.

“So, where do I sleep?” Castiel asks as Dean puts the leftovers in the fridge.  
“In my bed?” Dean asks, confused.  
“I just…I don’t…”  
“Cas, come on. I’ve told you before that we won’t do anything you don’t want to do,” Dean says. “But I really hope you want me to take you upstairs and kiss you senseless, because that’s what I’ve wanted to do since you called me.”  
“I am perfectly amenable to that suggestion,” Castiel grins.  
“Great,” Dean says, dragging Castiel up the stairs.

 

The next morning, Gabriel goes to breakfast at ten thirty. As soon as he walks into the room, he hears “Gabriel!” He turns to see Sam standing up, and then Sam wraps Gabriel in a hug and says, “I knew you’d come!”  
“Sam. What the hell happened to you? You’re like fifty feet tall. What the hell?”  
“I’m only six one,” Sam laughs.  
“You were five eight _maybe_ last time I saw you.”  
“I was five ten last time you saw me.”  
“No, definitely not. You were definitely shorter than I was.”  
“Nope.”  
“Now, Sam. Stop lying,” Gabriel says.

“I’m glad you’re here, Gabe,” Sam says, putting a hand on Gabriel’s arm.  
“I guess you wanna talk? Maybe when I get my breakfast, we can ditch your mom.”  
“Kind of. Mostly I just wanted to see you. I’m glad you came.”  
“You haven’t changed a bit. You’re still a puppy,” Gabriel laughs.  
“Are you still a dog?” Sam asks, raising an eyebrow.  
“Remarkably less so than before.”  
“Good.”

Gabriel gets his food, he and Sam go out to sit on the gazebo, and Sam talks a lot. He talks about pretty much everything that’s happened to him since he stopped texting Gabriel.  
“Now, Sam, I hate—really, really hate—to be the one to reopen old wounds, but I need to be sure you know that my showing up doesn’t change anything. I still don’t want a soulmate, but I’d love to be your friend.”  
Sam sighs. “I figured.”  
“I’m sorry, kiddo,” Gabriel says. “I really like you a lot, but I’m just not a soulmate.”  
“You’re my soulmate,” Sam says.  
“And not a day goes by that I don’t pity you for that. I’m not like Cas and Dean, or your parents, or any of my siblings. I just… don’t want to be one-half of a couple.”  
“I don’t want you to be one-half of a couple, either, Gabriel. I don’t know how to make you understand that I don’t want you to change. I love you just like you are. I love you when you’re selfish, when you’re giving, when you’re insecure, when you’re cocky—”  
“Sam,” Gabriel says, “that makes me supremely uncomfortable.”  
Sam looks down at his hands. “Sorry.”

“So, I’ve got a proposal,” Gabriel says.  
“Aww, yes, Gabriel. I will marry you. I’m thinking spring wedding.”  
“I’m thinking a wedding on the fifth of ‘yeah, no, Sam, even if we were dating I wouldn’t get married.’”  
Sam laughs. “Anyway.”  
“Okay. Rather than dancing around each other and both of us desperately avoiding the subject, how about we just don’t? If soulmates come up, we’ll follow that line of conversation until it changes. If I make a negative comment, you’ll know that I’m not trying to say anything about you, and if you make the passing comment about us, I won’t feel threatened. Okay?”  
“Okay,” Sam nods.  
Gabriel ruffles Sam’s hair, “Good.”

They pass the time pretty much like that. A few days into the trip, Sam and Gabriel go out to dinner together.

“Do you want something to drink?” Gabriel asks. “I’ll probably just get a soda, so I can order you something.”  
“Uh… yeah, okay. I’ll take a beer, if you don’t mind,” Sam says. “Uh, Summer Love.”  
“That sounds cheesy,” Gabriel laughs.  
“It’s a pretty good summer ale,” Sam says.  
“I don’t know a lot about beer. I’m more of a whiskey guy.”  
“I drink what my dad drinks, you know?”

Gabriel cuts Sam off after three beers, but he’s already pretty tipsy. He makes a realization as he’s trying to load all six feet one inch of jelly-boned Sam into the car.  
“Shit. I can’t take you back to your mom like this.”  
“I’ll stay with you!” Sam says. “Sleepover with my soulmate!”  
“Sam, quiet,” Gabriel says. “I guess you’ll have to stay with me. Give me your phone.”  
“Why?” Sam asks, turning his phone over to Gabriel.  
“I have to text your mom that you’re staying with me,” Gabriel says.

_To: Mom_   
_12 Jul 2014 22:54_   
_Hey, Mom. I’m sleeping in Gabriel’s room tonight. I’ll see you tomorrow._

_From: Mom_   
_12 Jul 2014 23:01_   
_Okay, honey. Have fun!_

“You keep quiet in here, you understand? I could get arrested for letting you drink. Do you want me to go to jail?” Gabriel asks.  
“No!” Sam says.  
“Then don’t speak to anyone, okay?”  
“Scout’s honor,” Sam says, doing the Boy Scout salute.

They make it to Gabriel’s room without incident. “Okay. Why don’t you get a shower, and I’ll go get your stuff from your room?”  
“Okay,” Sam nods.  
“Be careful. I don’t want you dying in my shower, okay?”  
“Okay,” Sam nods again.

Gabriel knocks on the door to the room Sam and Mary are staying in.  
“Oh. Hi,” Mary says, pulling her robe closed.  
“Hey, Mrs. Winchester. I’m here to get Sam’s things.”  
“Oh. Okay. Come in,” Mary says, opening the door wider.

“His bag is the blue one,” Mary says, going into the bathroom. Gabriel starts rooting around for some clothes. “Oh, just take the whole bag, honey; it’s fine.”  
“Uh, yeah. Okay.”  
“Here’s his toothbrush. I guess he’ll have to use your toothpaste.”  
“That’s fine,” Gabriel says. “Thanks.”  
“Mhmm.”

“Okay, Sammy?” Gabriel asks. “Oh, jeez. Sam! You could have at least kept the towel on.”  
“It was wet.”  
“So are you!”  
“I know! So I took the towel off so I could dry.”  
“Okay, whatever. There’s no reasoning with drunks,” Gabriel says. “I brought your clothes. Get dressed.”

“Do I have to sleep on the chair?” Sam asks, pulling his shirt on.  
“What? No. Why would I make you do that?”  
“You don’t wanna be my soulmate. You don’t love me,” Sam says.  
“Sam—”  
“But you’re nice and you don’t wanna lead me on, so you make me sleep on the chair.”  
“Lie down, Sam. In bed.”

The next morning, Gabriel wakes to find a giant on top of him. “Ugh, Sam. How much do you weigh?” he asks, trying to lift Sam to no avail.  
“One fifty, one sixty,” Sam says.  
“Great, you’re up. Get off me.”  
“No. I feel like shit.”  
“So do I, because you’re on top of me.”  
“For a kiss.”  
“Sam.”  
“A kiss, or I can stay here all day.”  
“Fine,” Gabriel says. “Just get up.” Sam rolls off of Gabriel, onto his back. Gabriel leans over and kisses him. Sam finds Gabriel’s face with his hands and tangles his fingers in Gabriel’s hair, licking at Gabriel’s lips.

“You have morning breath,” Gabriel says, pulling away.  
“So do you!” Sam says.  
“Yeah, but you have hangover breath.”

After he brushes his teeth, Sam walks back into the bedroom. “Hey.”  
Gabriel looks up as he buttons his shirt. “What’s up?”  
“I’m sorry.”  
“For what?”  
“The kiss. It was stupid.”  
“I wouldn’t have done it if I really didn’t want to. You couldn’t have _actually_ stayed there all day,” Gabriel says. “Besides, you’re not a bad kisser, kiddo. I didn’t think you’d have experience.”  
“I told you about Jess,” Sam says, taking his shirt off to change.  
“Ah, right. Whatever happened there? You said she started dating someone else.”  
“You know how people will sometimes get bracelets for the person they’re dating?”  
“I’ve heard it happens, but I’ve never seen it,” Gabriel says.  
“I thought I had. The day after we said we loved each other, she got a package, and we were both really excited even though we’d been griping about the bracelets and rushing into things just because of a piece of metal. Anyway, she opened the package and the coordinates were for our town, and we were bouncing-in-our-seats excited, but the initials were TB,” Sam says. “She said she didn’t care, that she wanted to stay with me, but I knew that I couldn’t make her happy anymore. It ended up being our friend Brady.”  
“Ouch. I’m sorry, kiddo.”  
“All’s well that ends well, I guess,” Sam sighs. “Breakfast?”

Somehow, Sam ends up pretty much moving into Gabriel’s room (at least in part due to Mary’s assumption that that was what happened that night). Sam asks if it’s okay to sleep shirtless, and Gabriel agrees because he vastly prefers it as well. One day, Gabriel wakes up early and the light hits Sam just so, and Gabriel takes out his oil pastels and his book and starts drawing.

Sam starts stretching. “Don’t move,” Gabriel says. Sam freezes and looks at Gabriel, who is getting up to put Sam back where he was.  
“What time is it?” Sam asks as Gabriel moves his left arm.  
“Ten thirty.”  
“What about breakfast?”  
“If we’re too late, I’ll take you out,” Gabriel says, sitting back down.

“I thought you didn’t do people,” Sam says.

“I’ve been working on it,” Gabriel shrugs. “Besides, I’m drawing the light.”  
“I’m gonna go back to sleep.”  
“All right.”

There’s a knock on the door and then it opens. “Hey, boys,” Mary says. “I missed you at breakfast.”  
“Gabriel’s kept me in bed all day, and not in the fun way,” Sam says.  
“Well, if I could draw the light without having to struggle with your ugly mug, you could have gone.”  
“It’s eleven, Gabriel. I think it might be time for a break,” Mary says.  
Gabriel sighs. “Yeah. I guess the light isn’t hitting right anymore, anyway. Breakfast, Sammy?”  
“Finally,” Sam says, getting out of bed.  
“If you were hungry, you could have said something.”  
“I figured _you’d_ get hungry eventually.”  
Gabriel shakes his head, “Not when I’m working. I usually eat breakfast before I start and we do the family dinner thing that I’m expected to attend, so I don’t do too much damage. I guess I just…get in the zone?”  
“I’ll remind you from now on,” Sam says, pressing a kiss to Gabriel’s temple on his way to the bathroom.

“Sorry for starving your kid, Mary,” Gabriel laughs.  
“That’s all right. It’s not like he’s skin and bones or anything.”  
“Have you ever had him on top of you? He could stand to lose a few.”  
“I heard that,” Sam says. “Get dressed; you’re taking me to breakfast.”

Mary leaves shortly after that, going home to help with the packing. Sam and Gabriel fall into a kind of domesticity. It takes several more mornings to get the drawing finished, but he finishes at ten thirty every day, so that Sam doesn’t get too hungry. They move around each other easily, almost predicting the other’s movements. Sam turns up the affectionate gestures, and Gabriel does a bit as well. All in all, it’s pretty nice.


	10. Chapter 10

Dean and Castiel are doing pretty well, too. They don’t have as much time to relax, because they’re packing, but it’s still very nice. After a long day of packing, Dean says, “I’m gonna go get a shower.”  
Castiel looks around and finds that John and Mary aren’t there. “I’ll go with you.”  
Dean grins. “Well, come on.”

It’s not as sexual as one might think. Castiel doesn’t want to do anything, so they mostly just kiss. Dean’s washing Castiel’s hair when a phone goes off.  
“I think that’s mine,” Castiel says, leaning out of the shower.  
“Leave it. Call back later,” Dean says, pulling him back, and Castiel lets himself be maneuvered.

As soon as the phone stops ringing, it starts again.  
“I have to answer it. It’s clearly important,” Castiel says.  
“Fine,” Dean says.  
Castiel looks at the phone and pure terror crosses his face. “Oh, no. It’s Michael.”  
“What?” Dean asks.  
“Hello?”  
“Hey, Castiel,” Michael says. “Janette and I got home yesterday and we thought you’d be home by now. Where are you and Gabriel?”  
“I’m in the shower. Let me have Gabriel call you, okay?”  
“Okay.”

 

Gabriel is modelling for Sam when his phone starts ringing.  
“Do you need to get that?” Sam asks.  
Gabriel shakes his head. “It’s just Cassie. We have a code in our family: back-to-back means it’s important. If it’s not, give it five minutes.”  
When Gabriel’s phone stops ringing, his and Sam’s immediately start.  
“Answer it,” Sam says, putting his phone to his ear. “Hello?”

“Hello?” Gabriel asks.  
“Michael’s home. He’s asking where we are,” Castiel says. “Oh God, I can’t breathe. He’s gonna find out. How can he _not_ find out?”  
“Cassie, calm down. What did you tell him?”  
“That I was in the shower and I’d have you call him. What are you gonna tell him?”  
“I don’t know,” Gabriel says.  
“You have to call soon or he’ll suspect.”  
“Tell him about me,” Sam says, putting his phone in his lap.  
“What?”  
“Tell him you got your bracelet and you took Cas with you to find me. Have Cas fly out here and then you’ll both come back from Illinois and it’ll be fine. You couldn’t exactly have left him alone. That’s why he’s with Dean, isn’t it?”  
“Okay. Cas, you get on the first flight out here tomorrow, okay? I’m gonna conference call him now, and you mute your phone unless he asks to speak with you. If he does ask, unmute your phone slowly and then speak. Okay?”  
“Okay,” Castiel says, taking a deep breath.

“Hey, Gabriel.”  
“Hey, Michael. You’re home early.”  
“Yeah. Janette is pregnant,” Michael says.  
“Wow! Michael, that’s great! Congratulations!”  
“Thanks, Gabriel,” Michael says. “Where are you and Castiel?”  
“Um, it’s kind of a long story, but I’m with my soulmate. I couldn’t leave Castiel alone, so he’s with us. He’s in the shower now.”  
“Your soulmate?”  
“Yeah. Stupid thing came. So much for my strong resolve being what kept it away.”  
“When did you get it?”  
“Around my birthday last year,” Gabriel says.  
“Why didn’t you say anything? Did you go see them last year?”  
“I did. He’s been pretty great about my not wanting a soulmate,” Gabriel says, winking at Sam.  
Gabriel can see Michael’s confused expression when he says, “You… you haven’t changed your mind?”  
“No.”  
“Even though you’ve met him?”  
“Even though I’ve met him.”  
“But he… he’s perfect for you!”  
“I know. And perfect for me isn’t a soulmate; it’s a friend.”  
“But what does he want?”  
“Look, Michael, Cassie and I are fine. We’ll be home soon. Bye,” Gabriel hangs up.

“Okay, where was I?” Gabriel asks.  
Sam gets up and repositions him. “Are you okay?”  
“I’m fine,” Gabriel says.  
“I know Michael bugged you about it a lot, and he’ll probably be relentless now that he knows about me. I just… I didn’t want Cas to get in trouble.”  
“Neither did I; that’s why I told him. It’s Cassie that owes me, not you.”

 

“I have to go,” Castiel says. “He wants me on the first flight to Illinois tomorrow.”  
“Okay,” Dean says. “Let’s go get you a ticket.”  
“You…maybe you could come with me?”  
“I’d love to, but since we’re moving and everything—”  
“You could come back with Sam,” Castiel says.  
“Sam’s going straight to Portland; he should be flying with your brother.”  
“Then, you could come with us.”  
“I’ll talk to my parents, okay?”

“Hey, Mom,” Dean says.  
“Hey, honey. What’s up?”  
“Cas has to go to Illinois to fly back with Gabriel because his brother Michael came home early, and he wants me to go with him. I could just fly out with Sam,” Dean says.  
“We really need your help, Dean,” Mary says.  
“I know. I could get all the stuff moved to the front door and then we could go.”  
“Dean, you can wait a few days. Gabriel will have an excuse to come over as soon as we move, so there’s no reason Castiel can’t come with him.”  
“Mom—”  
“That’s enough, Dean. A few days won’t kill you. Sam’s flying out in four days.”  
“Yes, ma’am.”

“So?” Castiel asks.  
“Mom says that they need me to help move. She said Gabriel and Sam are flying out on the twenty-fourth, so we won’t be apart for too long.”  
Castiel nods. “I understand.”

 

The plane ride was long and boring, and Castiel absolutely _hates_ sitting for that long, but it was necessary. Gabriel and Sam meet him at the airport.  
“Hey, Cassie,” Gabriel hugs him.  
“Hey, Gabriel,” Castiel says. “Hello, Sam.”  
“Hey, Cas.”

“How was Dean?” Gabriel asks.  
“He was wonderful, as always,” Castiel says.  
“I gotta say, I expected he’d come with you,” Sam says.  
“He wanted to, but since you won’t be helping move, your parents needed him.”  
“On the bright side, we worked out that he’d load and I’d unload, so he’ll be able to be with you while I’m working in Washington.”  
“Perhaps you can get Gabriel to help, like I helped Dean.”  
Sam laughs. “I doubt it.”  
“Hey!” Gabriel says.  
“If I did, by some miracle, convince you to help, you’d quit after ten minutes.”  
“I would not!”  
“Gabriel,” Sam and Castiel say.  
“I thought you’d enlist Michael. He wouldn’t let me quit.”  
“That’s a good idea,” Sam says.  
“He would help, since you’re Gabriel’s soulmate,” Castiel says. “We have several siblings that would be willing to help. If Gabriel even said that he was going to, they’d join him.”  
“You said there were seven of you, right?” Sam asks.  
“Not counting me and Cassie,” Gabriel reminds him.  
“There’s not a word to put here that isn’t an expletive,” Sam says. “I didn’t realize you hadn’t counted you two.”  
“Well, they had to have enough kids that the older ones could take care of the younger ones,” Gabriel says. “The kiddies are lucky, anyway. Mom and Dad were always pretty crap parents.”

“So, do all of these mysterious siblings have names?” Sam asks.  
“They do,” Gabriel nods. “There’s Michael, Lucifer, Raphael, me, Hester, Rachel, Inias, Anna, and Cassie, in that order.”  
“I’ll let Mom and Dad know,” Sam nods.

 

“So, Gabriel just _found_ his soulmate and didn’t tell anyone?” Janette asks.  
“Why would he tell? With all the crap we give him for not having one?” Michael asks.  
“So why not throw it in our faces? ‘Look, I do have one.’”  
“Because he hasn’t changed his mind about wanting one,” Michael says. “He says the guy’s okay with it. I’m gonna pick them up from the airport and try to feel him out. They’re moving out here, apparently.”  
“But what if…you know the guy Castiel’s been talking to? I’ve heard him say ‘I love you’ to him, and not like you say ‘I love you’ when you’re good friends and they’ve done something that reminds you why. Like, ‘I’ll talk to you later. I love you. Bye,’” Janette says.  
“Gabriel hiding something or _Castiel_ hiding something; which seems more likely?”  
“How many times did you want to sneak out and find me? The only person with him last year was Gabriel, who, conveniently, found his soulmate about thirty minutes from where Castiel’s is supposed to be.”  
“I’ll ask for Gabriel’s bracelet, if it makes you feel better. We’ll look up where it leads.”  
“Okay,” Janette says, but she doesn’t seem satisfied. 

 

“I’m just nervous, I guess,” Sam says. “What if he doesn’t like me?”  
“He will. He’ll like you more than he likes me,” Gabriel says.

“Hey, Mike,” Gabriel says.  
“Hey, Gabriel,” Michael says. “Hey, Castiel.” Castiel nods at him.  
“Michael, this is Sam. Sam, Michael,” Gabriel says.  
Michael holds out his hand, “Sam Winchester. It’s nice to finally meet you. I’ve heard absolutely nothing about you.”  
“Michael,” Gabriel groans.  
Sam shakes Michael’s hand. “It’s nice to meet you, too. I’ve heard a pretty good bit about you.”  
“Good things, I hope.”  
“Usually. You know Gabriel,” Sam says.  
“Sam!” Gabriel says.  
“That I do,” Michael says.

“Sam, why don’t you sit in the front seat?” Michael asks. “We’ll talk.”  
“Michael, he can talk from the back seat,” Gabriel says.  
“I don’t care one way or another, to be honest. We’re like, fifteen minutes from the house, right?” Sam asks.  
Gabriel shrugs and climbs into the backseat. “Yeah. When are your parents coming in?”  
Sam gets into the front seat. “About five?”  
“And it’s eleven, so I guess you’ll be hanging out for a while,” Gabriel says.  
“You aren’t sick of me yet?” Sam grins.  
“I’ve been sick of you for weeks. A little longer won’t kill me,” Gabriel winks.

“Are you coming to help us move in?” Sam asks.  
“Yeah,” Gabriel says.  
“And you’ll keep Dean out of our hair, Cas?”  
“That’s the plan,” Castiel nods.  
“Younger brother?” Michael asks.  
“Older brother. Since I went to Illinois, he got stuck moving out, so I get stuck moving in while Castiel shows him around.”  
“How do you two know each other?” Michael asks.   
“We met last summer. Gabriel took me then, too,” Castiel says.  
“That’s not the important part, Mike. Are you going to come help the Winchesters move in?” Gabriel says.  
“Yeah,” Michael says. “I’ll rally the troops.”  
“You don’t have to do that,” Sam says.  
“It’s fine. For someone with a hope of taming Gabriel? I’d sell my left kidney,” Michael says. 

“Hey, boys,” Janette says.  
Michael kisses her, “Janette, this is Sam Winchester, Gabriel’s soulmate.”  
“I wish you wouldn’t introduce him like that. Why don’t you say ‘high school student,’ ‘budding artist,’ or ‘future law student?’ Sam’s not defined in relation to me,” Gabriel says.  
Sam smiles, “That’s actually a nice thought, Gabriel.”  
“Well, Janette, this is Sam, who likes art but is also a grown up and is going to law school,” Michael says. Janette doesn’t miss the way Sam tenses or the way Gabriel grabs Sam’s arm and squeezes.

“Castiel, would you help me make lunch?” Janette asks.  
Castiel furrows his brow. “Isn’t that something you and Michael usually do together?”  
“I’ve just spent all summer with Michael; I’m tired of him.”  
“Okay,” Castiel agrees.

“We’ll be in my room,” Gabriel says.  
“I’ll go with you,” Michael says.  
“I wish you wouldn’t.”

“You want a drink, Sam?” Gabriel asks, pouring his own. “I normally drink on the plane.”  
“Cas told me you got drunk on the plane and talked about crashing, which is rude,” Sam says.  
“I talked about a phone call crashing the plane. If no one got a phone call, we wouldn’t crash,” Gabriel says. “And they shouldn’t have gotten any calls, because their devices should have been off.”  
“Okay, Gabriel,” Sam says. “And no, thank you. I’m more of a beer guy.”  
“I’ll convert you,” Gabriel winks.

“So, Gabriel,” Michael says, “where’s your bracelet?”  
Gabriel shrugs. “Probably that drawer, unless Castiel’s taken it again.”  
“Would you get it?” Michael asks.  
Gabriel sighs. “Sammy, hold my booze.”  
Sam takes the drink. “Don’t call me ‘Sammy.’”  
“You’re sensitive about it?” Gabriel grins.  
“Just don’t,” Sam says.  
“Why not, Sammy?”  
Sam drinks the whiskey. “I’m gonna need more if I’m expected to stay with you today.”  
“Hey!” Gabriel says. “I am a _joy_ to be around.”  
Sam scoffs. “You made me miss breakfast so you could draw ‘the light,’ Gabriel. I probably would have missed lunch if my mom hadn’t come to find us.”  
“Hey, it’s not my fault you got drunk—”  
“It _is_ your fault I got drunk.”  
“—and moved into my room.”  
“Couldn’t you have just gone to breakfast on your own?” Michael asks.  
“Oh, no. He was drawing _me_. He’s just too stubborn to admit he’s a sentimental idiot,” Sam says.  
“You were a vessel for the light, Sam,” Gabriel says.  
“You didn’t notice that the light wasn’t right until my mom asked why you were starving me!”  
“I’m not having this argument.”  
“You never will,” Sam says, sitting on Gabriel’s bed.  
“What does that mean?”  
“You didn’t want to have this argument,” Sam says, “and I don’t want to have it in front of your brother.”

“Here’s the bracelet,” Gabriel says. “Would you like Sam’s for comparison?”  
Michael sighs as Sam takes his bracelet off. “That’s what this is about? He thinks we’re lying?” Sam asks.  
“I don’t know why, but he does,” Gabriel says. “It’s not like I _would_ share about it.”   
“Janette is just a little curious. She thinks you would have thrown it in our faces,” Michael says.  
“Why? You’d just find a way to use it against me, same as everything else.”  
Sam wraps his arms around Gabriel, but Gabriel only lets him stay that way for a moment.

Michael examines the bracelets, then holds them out to their respective owners. “I’m glad you found someone,” he says.  
“Can you go now?” Gabriel asks, putting the bracelet back in the drawer.  
“You aren’t going to wear it?”  
“I haven’t been wearing it all year,” Gabriel says.  
“We didn’t know, though.”  
“It wasn’t about you.”  
“But people won’t know you have a soulmate.”  
“That’s kind of the point.”  
Michael cuts his eyes to Sam. “I honestly can’t believe you sometimes, Gabriel. To say you only want to be friends with him is one thing, but to throw in his face that you want to sleep with other people? It’s just cruel.” He shakes his head then leaves.  
“I’ll take that drink now,” Sam says.

“What was that about?” Castiel asks.  
“Janette was suspicious, apparently,” Gabriel says. “He checked our bracelets.”  
“I believe she was interrogating me, then. I told her that you and Sam shared a room, that I had my own, and that Sam’s family had another.”  
“You should let Dean know the story, too. He’ll probably ask them.”  
“He promised to call me when they landed, so I’ll tell him then.”

“Are you alright, Sam?” Castiel asks.  
“Yeah,” Sam says. “Yeah, I’m fine. Tired, I guess.”  
“Perhaps you should rest. You don’t want to be tired and then have to move boxes,” Castiel says.  
“You’re right. Do you mind if I use your room?”  
“Not at all. I’ll show you where it is.”  
“Thanks.”

“Gabriel’s already put his foot in his mouth?” Castiel asks in his room.  
Sam laughs, but there’s no humor in it. “You could say that.”  
“Would you like to talk about it?”  
“This summer, Gabriel was—I don’t know. We were like real soulmates, normal soulmates. But as soon as he gets home, everything is back to the way it was before. It’s like he wants me, but he’s so stubborn that he just _can’t_ let Michael win.”  
“I don’t know what to say,” Castiel sits next to Sam on the bed. “I’m sorry, Sam.”  
“Yeah. Gabriel seems to be the only one that isn’t.”  
“Get some rest.”


	11. Chapter 11

Dean phones at around five to say they’ve landed, and Castiel tells him the story they’re going with and that his family is going to help the Winchesters move in. He wakes Sam up and Sam eats his lunch (saying that Dean called _him_ ) and they head over to the house, beating Sam’s family by a few minutes.

It’s a nice house, Sam thinks. It’s bigger than the one they have in Lawrence, which they’ve had since Sam was born. This one is two stories high, and Sam’s never been in it, but Mary says that the boys are upstairs while the master is downstairs. The kitchen is big, which Sam is happy about because he likes to help Mary cook, and the garage is big, which Dean and John are happy about. Mary and John say they’re willing to devote part of the garage to Sam’s painting, which he’s going to continue, but he isn’t going to do baseball this year.

 

Mary follows John in the Impala. She and Dean talk, mostly about Castiel, since Mary hasn’t gotten to know him very well yet.

When they get to the house, the one of the Novak boys helps John back the truck into the driveway, then Mary pulls in. As John and the boy are opening the truck, another car parks on the street by their driveway. The passengers come over to where Castiel, Gabriel, and Sam are standing, so Mary assumes those are the other Novaks.

When John and Mary go over to the group, the boy who helped John begins introducing everyone. Dean is a little late to the party, but Castiel is whispering to him, and Mary guesses that it’s the names he’s missed. When the boy, Michael, is done, John introduces their family.

“It’s really sweet of you to help us,” Mary says.  
“Anything for a soulmate,” Michael says.  
Mary looks over to Sam, the distance he and Gabriel have, and thinks—not for the first time—that they’re hardly soulmates. She does wonder what happened, though; she’d left because things seemed to be on the right track.

“Hey, honey,” Mary hugs Sam.  
“Hey, Mom.”  
“What’s going on with you and Gabriel?”  
Sam sighs. “Same old, same old.”  
“But what about—”  
“I don’t know. We got off the plane, and he started getting distant again.”  
“I’m sorry, sweetie,” Mary says.  
“Me, too,” Sam says. 

Dean and Castiel leave, and the rest of them start taking things into the house. Michael is working with Sam, so he must know they’ve had a fight. Gabriel is putting away plates with Mary, and she tries to be nonchalant when she says, “So, Gabriel?”  
“Yes?”  
“What happened with you and Sam?”  
Gabriel stretches to put up the plate and Mary smiles. “I’ve made it quite clear that I don’t want a soulmate.”  
“You seemed to have changed your mind this summer.”  
“Well I didn’t!” Gabriel rounds on her. “ _You_ moved him into my room, not me.”  
“You didn’t protest. You practically put me on the plane. _You_ wanted me to leave him with you, not me.”  
“Just, stop. Please?” Gabriel asks. “God. Why did you have to come here? You’re gonna ruin everything.”  
“Is that really how you feel?” Sam asks.  
“Sam, I—”  
“Why?! What have I _ever_ done to you?! Why are you like this, Gabriel? Why are you always so cruel to me?” Sam asks. “Why did you act the way you did this summer?”  
“I don’t know,” Gabriel says.  
“Why did you give me everything I could ask for and then snatch it away?” Sam asks. “You don’t want me here? Fine, I don’t wanna be here! Mom, will you call Uncle Bobby? I’ll just stay with him. Gabriel _obviously_ … I just wanna go home.”   
“Honey,” Mary sighs.  
“Sam, let’s—” Gabriel says.  
“Let’s what, Gabriel? Let’s talk about it? Have you changed your mind now that I’m here to hear you? You always do this. You’re so _desperate_ for me to like you, but only just so. You tell me lies to keep me around and then say you don’t want me. I don’t know what to do,” Sam says. “Just, leave me alone. I’m going for a drive.”

 

Outside, “Your brother and Castiel left in the Chevy,” Michael says. “You can take my car.”  
“No. I… I’ll just walk or something,” Sam says.  
“There’s room for all of us in the SUV. If you’re not back by the time we leave, you can just drive to our house. I’ll take you home.”  
“I’m sorry.”  
“No. I’m sorry,” Michael says. “I don’t know why Gabriel ended up the way he did—if we could have changed it or if it’s a personality flaw—but if we’d ever seriously considered you to be a viable option for Gabriel, we would have tried harder.”  
“What, made fun of him more? Made him feel like he wasn’t good enough even more often? I think your ‘trying’ is the reason he’s like this,” Sam says. “I mean, hell, is it that big of a deal that he wants to paint instead of be a doctor or a lawyer? He’s _good_ at it. Have you ever really looked at his work? Has he even had classes? Imagine what he could do, if he’d ever gotten some encouragement. Imagine who he’d be.”

 

“So, where to?” Dean asks, taking Castiel’s hand.  
“My friend Balthazar would like to meet you,” Castiel says.  
“He’s the one that was gonna cover for you so you could come over for my birthday.”  
“He was going to take me,” Cas amends.  
“Oh,” Dean raises his eyebrows. “I like him already.” 

Castiel gives Dean directions and they finally stop at a huge house. They knock on the door, because _of course_ Castiel still knocks at his best friend’s house, and a smarmy-looking blonde guy answers the door. Dean’s surprised by his British-sounding accent when he says, “Cassie!” and pulls Castiel in for a hug.  
“Hey, Balthazar. Can we come in?”  
“Of course! Come on!” Balthazar opens the door for them, and they take their shoes off in the mudroom before heading to the den.

“Balthazar, this is my soulmate Dean Winchester,” Castiel says. “Dean, this is my best friend Balthazar.”  
“Hello,” Balthazar holds out his hand.  
Dean shakes it. “Nice to meet you.”  
“The pleasure is all mine,” Balthazar says.

“Sit down, make yourself at home. Can I get you anything to drink?” Balthazar asks.  
“I’ll take water,” Castiel says.  
“Water’s fine,” Dean says.

Balthazar sits in the chair facing Dean and Castiel on the sofa. “So, Dean, tell me about yourself.”  
“What do you want to know?”  
“How old are you? Cassie said older, right?” Balthazar looks at Castiel, who nods. “You’ve graduated, so what college do you go to?”  
“I’m twenty,” Dean says. “I’m not in college. Right now I’m kind of just… figuring out what I want to do? I’m thinking of being a mechanic, but Cas wants me to go to school for engineering.”  
“I believe it is an extension you are intelligent enough to make,” Castiel agrees.  
“I’ve been doing research. I was pretty good in math, but I’ve teased Sammy his whole life about being a nerd. What would he say if I turned around and became an engineer?”  
“That he’s proud of you,” Castiel shrugs.  
“Sam’s the brother, right? Gabriel’s soulmate,” Balthazar says.  
“He is,” Castiel nods.

“So, how is your soulmate, Balthazar?” Castiel asks.  
“She’s doing very well. Beautiful, as always,” Balthazar smiles. “She’s going to graduate this year, a year early, and go to MIT. She’s brilliant.”  
“I can’t wait to meet her,” Castiel says.  
“We plan for her to come down for my birthday, so perhaps then,” Balthazar says. “Well, if we leave the bedroom. With a man like yours, I suppose you understand,” Balthazar makes a show of checking Dean out.  
“You know me,” Castiel says.  
“Still little Polly pure? My God, man. Why? He’s gorgeous!”  
“It’s not Dean, Balthazar. I just don’t want to right now.”  
“Right. Of course. Because why would you _want_ to have sex with your soulmate, who just so happens to look like a model?”  
“Balthazar.”  
“Fine, fine. It’s your choice, I suppose. Are you above sharing?”  
“Balthazar!” Castiel flushes, and Dean just laughs. 

“Excuse me for a moment,” Balthazar says, standing.  
When he’s gone, Castiel asks, “So what do you think?”  
“I think one of these things is not like the others,” Dean says.  
“What do you mean?”  
“Is everyone in your life so—I don’t know—fancy? Rich?”  
“Generally speaking, yes.”  
“Cas, I don’t belong here.”  
Castiel kisses Dean. “I’m here, and with me is exactly where you belong.”  
Dean grins. “That’s so cheesy.”  
“You _like_ cheesy.”  
Dean kisses Castiel. “Okay, yeah. Only from you, though.” 

Castiel turns anxious. “Besides that, though. You could get along with Balthazar?”  
“Of course I could, Cas; he’s your best friend. Besides, he’s pretty funny.”  
“No, you’re both just rude.”  
“You like us both, and so far that’s what we have in common,” Dean points out.


	12. Chapter 12

School starts back on August 4th (the 1st is a Friday, so starting then would be rather silly). Castiel introduces Sam to his friends in the week before then, and Sam gets on well with pretty much all of them; they all accept him readily and he’s happy to find that he’s not the youngest of the bunch.

Sam joins the art club and the French club, while Castiel continues participation in the French club (both are going for the bilingual diploma) and the physics club, and they’re in a few IB classes together (French higher level [HL—for those who are very good with the subject] and Latin standard level [SL—for those who are okay or just starting in the subject]). Then he’s in computer science SL with Balthazar and math HL with Ariel. The only classes he doesn’t know someone in by the start of the year are history HL and English HL (he’s taken two group two [language] classes instead of the group six class [arts]).

“How’s school, Sammy?” Dean asks as he’s getting ready to go out with Cas that Friday night.  
“It’s fine. I think this year will be harder, but it’s nothing I can’t handle,” Sam says. “Besides, Cas told me that the school converts the IB scores to the 4.0 scale, which gives me a 4.0 here.”  
“How’s that? I thought you were at a 3.2 or something,” Dean says.  
Sam puts on his signature how-are-we-related-you’re-so-dense bitchface. “It was a 3.75. _Anyway_ , colleges tend to consider seven as A, six as B, and so forth, but this school does seven as A+ and six as A-, which both count as fours on the 4.0 scale.”  
“So you’re doing better at the harder school?” Dean asks.  
“Yeah,” Sam shrugs. “But Harvard requires scores of seven on at least three HL exams for advanced standing.”  
“Harvard? What about Stanford?”  
“Harvard’s farther from Gabriel.”  
Dean makes a face but settles for ruffling Sam’s hair and saying, “Good job, Sammy.”

 

Apparently Castiel’s getting a ride from Michael to Balthazar’s house, then Balth is taking Cas to Dean, so Dean’s sitting on the couch next to Sam (who’s doing homework), waiting for Cas to show up.

“So, I was thinking about going to college,” Dean says.  
“Yeah?” Sam asks, closing his book.  
“I mean, Harvard and stuff is probably beyond me, but I think I might go into mechanical engineering.”  
“That’d be great, Dean. I know you really like working on cars, so you could still do that, but you’d have a lot more opportunities available.”  
“Cas thought so, too,” Dean says, and Sam tenses, so he asks, “What?”  
“Don’t do it because Cas wants you to, okay? I know he only wants what’s best for you, but if you don’t want to do it, you’ll only resent him. An engineering major is no joke. It’s not gonna be like high school, where you can sleep through AP classes and still get fives, okay?”  
“I know that college isn’t high school, Sammy. I’m doing it—” There’s a knock on the door and Dean jumps up to get it. He greets Castiel with a kiss and some words that Sam can’t hear, and they’re about to leave so Sam says, “Dean!”  
He looks over his shoulder. “Yeah?”  
“Why?”  
“I want to,” Dean says. “I just needed some help realizing.”

 

Dean and Castiel stay out until Castiel feels bad about just using Balthazar as an excuse, which happens around ten. Dean takes Cas back to Balthazar’s—he’s spending the night there—and goes over to Cas’ house. Michael answers the door.  
“Hey, Michael.”  
“Hello, Dean. Castiel is at Balthazar’s. Additionally, it’s ten thirty; it’s considered polite to call before coming over this late.”  
“Oh, but I didn’t want Gabriel being able to run and hide,” Dean says. “He here? He and I need to have a talk about my little brother.”  
“He just came back,” Michael says, opening the door for Dean. “Come in.”

“You do realize I’m going to tear him a new one, right?” Dean asks. “You’re just gonna let me in?”  
“I think he’s treating your brother poorly as well,” Michael says.  
“Alright.”

Dean knocks on Gabriel’s door. Gabriel sounds unusually sober for a Friday night when he says, “Not now, Mom. Can’t you criticize my life choices later?” Dean opens the door.  
“What?” Gabriel asks, then realizes it’s not his mother. “Dean?”  
Dean flips the light on. “Let’s talk.”  
“You’ve got a ‘stupid big brother’ face on, and I’m sick, so why don’t we do this later?” Gabriel asks.  
Michael comes in with the medicine Gabriel had asked for, and on the way out he whispers to Dean, “Though I agree with you, Gabriel responds poorly to conflict. Try to remain level-headed about this.”

Dean sighs and pulls a seat over to Gabriel’s bed.  
“Dean, I would really, _really_ like to do this another time,” Gabriel says.  
“Too bad this isn’t about you, then.”  
Gabriel heaves a put-upon sigh and says, “Okay. What?”  
Dean cocks his head. “Do you consider Sam before you act or do you just do whatever you want?”  
“Definitely the second.”  
“Sam’s going to Harvard.”  
“Awesome,” Gabriel says, clearly not understanding why Dean’s come over.  
“All his life, he’s wanted to go to Stanford. He wants California and the West Coast, the sun and sand and Valley Girls, and suddenly he’s on the other side of the country,” Dean says. “So I asked him why, and his exact phrasing was ‘Harvard’s farther from Gabriel.’ He’s moving on, Gabriel, and dammit if you don’t want him. That’s what really gets me: you _light up_ around him. You _want him!_ But he’s trying to get over you. Soon thinking about you is going to hurt so much he’ll stop doing it altogether, and I don’t know if you’ll ever be able to change his mind. So if you think you might want to one day—if you think you’ll pull your head out of your ass and see how great you had it _right now_ —you better convince him of it.” Dean gets up to leave, but he turns around at the door. “If not, I don’t guess I have to worry about running into you at family gatherings, considering how much you all hate each other.”

 

Sam’s happy that Dean is considering college, even if it was Castiel’s suggestion. Though Dean has a tendency to get lovesick about Castiel, Sam thinks he’s strong-willed (or pig-headed) enough to only go to college if he wants to.

He didn’t miss the face Dean made about Harvard, and he was thankful Dean didn’t comment. Being around Gabriel has just gotten so difficult lately. It’s like there are two Gabriels, and one of them is wonderful and sweet and still a little reserved about soulmates, but _open to it_ , and then the other is mean and crass and says things intentionally to drive Sam away, and Sam’s not sure if he can stay around Hyde on the off-chance Jekyll will come out. Gabriel doesn’t seem to be changing his mind—in fact, he seems to be making an effort not to—and Sam needs to do what’s best for him. Not everyone in this relationship can look after Gabriel; someone has to look after Sam, and if it has to be Sam who does it, then so be it.

It’s the second Friday after school starts, and Dean and Castiel are going out again. Dean sits with Sam in the den while he waits, talking sometimes but mostly just watching Sam work (math homework this time, and he’s considering calling Ariel about it). Then about an hour after Dean leaves (and an hour and a half after Mary and John have left for their date), there’s a knock on the door. Sam sighs, heaving his book, notebook, and laptop off of him to answer the door.

“Hey, kiddo,” Gabriel says. Sam shuts the door. “Sam!” Gabriel starts banging. “Come on, open up!” Sam opens the door and Gabriel looks at the ground. “Still mad, huh?”  
“I’d have to care to be mad, Gabriel, and I’m honestly not sure if I can anymore. I’m just _so tired_ of trying to placate you and work with you and make sure I don’t step on your toes and _dammit_ I get to be catered to, too! I _deserve_ to have someone worry about me, a hell of a lot more than you do! I have done _nothing_ but try to be what you needed. I have broken my back to give you what you wanted even when it hurts me so much that I can’t breathe. What did I do to deserve this? I must have been terrible in a past life. I must have let fucking _Satan_ out or something. I don’t know why I don’t deserve to be loved.” Sam takes a deep breath, blinking against the stinging in his eyes, and goes to sit down. Gabriel follows him in, closing the door behind himself.  
He kneels between Sam’s knees and takes Sam’s hands in his own. “Kiddo, what I’ve been trying to say since day one is that you _do_ deserve to be loved, and you _do_ deserve to be catered to. I care about you, Sam—a lot—but I just…” he trails off.  
“What happened this summer?”  
Gabriel sighs. “I don’t know. I wish I did. I wish I could tell you the formula to input so that I could act like your soulmate again. Dean seems to think I’m forcing it, like now that we’re back I’m making myself go back to normal, and I guess he’s right to an extent. Since I met you, I haven’t wanted to go to bars. I’ve dated a few people, but it hasn’t really gone anywhere. But I’m not making myself not want you—you don’t understand how hard I force myself to try to want you sometimes, but I just don’t. I can’t be what you need, Sam, and you’re right: it’s not fair for you to try to be what I need. I’m sorry. Will you look at me?” Sam lifts his head to make eye-contact with Gabriel. “I like spending time with you, but I understand if you don’t want to be friends with me anymore. This isn’t about what I want, okay? What do you want to do? We can cut off contact, or we can text, we can be friends or you can make mean comments about me to my brother in Latin. It’s up to you.”  
“I just… I can’t, Gabriel. It hurts so much to even think about you. I can’t text you and talk to you and act like it doesn’t kill me,” Sam says. Gabriel nods shakily.

“I… all this time, have I been… I’ve been selfish, I know. That’s what I am: a selfish prat. But I thought that… I thought you liked talking to me and spending time with me,” Gabriel says. “I… have I been seeing this all wrong? You’ve always been in pain and I’ve been plodding along happily, thinking everything was great?”  
“Pretty much,” Sam nods and, when Gabriel deflates, he continues, “I do like being around you. I think you’re smart and funny, and you’re an amazing artist, and if I had _half_ the talent you have, art wouldn’t be nearly as frustrating as it is. But it’s always been colored by rejection. I’ve always had that raincloud looming over my head, telling me you’ll never want me like I want you, that no matter how well we get to know each other, I’ll never be good enough for you. At the beginning, I still hoped it’d happen, but these past few months I think I’ve realized that it won’t, and I guess that’s okay. It’ll have to be.”  
“Please never say that you weren’t good enough for me, okay? I’m the one who isn’t good enough. I’m selfish and I’m lazy and I refuse to let things go, and I dragged you along for way too long because you made me feel good about myself, but if making me feel good makes you feel like shit, then neither of us deserve it.” 

Sam kisses him, and Gabriel thinks it may be the last time, so for once in his life he gives. He lets Sam take whatever he needs, kisses him back when Sam tries to pull away meekly, kisses Sam until they’re both panting and hands have started straying and Sam’s land on Gabriel’s shoulders and push him away.

“I forget that you’re really good at that,” Gabriel says, trying to catch his breath.  
“You’re not too bad yourself,” Sam says. “Listen, Gabriel. I know that you don’t have to do shit for me, but I want to ask anyway.”  
Gabriel nods. “Go ahead.”  
“I want you to move,” Sam says, and he shakes his head at Gabriel’s widened eyes. “Go to some art commune and work on your art. Go somewhere that people will appreciate your talents for what they are instead of treating them like the follies of children, okay? Make friends that like _you_ and not your money or your status or what you can do for them. I know you stay for Castiel—I can see it every time you look at him—but you need to look after you. One day you’re gonna find someone you want to love and you won’t be able to do it because you don’t even _like_ yourself. Sure, you’re annoying and you have bad habits, but everyone is, everyone does. You can’t go around pretending that you’re somehow a worse person than anyone else.”  
Gabriel kisses Sam. “Okay,” he nods. “Okay.”


	13. Chapter 13

The day starts like any other day. Castiel’s alarm goes off (his Saturday alarm, set for ten), and Castiel goes to shower. He’s still drying his hair when he sees a wrapped gift on his nightstand. The nametag indicates that it’s for Michael’s birthday, which is tomorrow (the 19th; they’re having a dinner), and that it’s from Gabriel. Castiel actually laughs in surprise, because he can’t remember the last time Gabriel even thought to buy _him_ a birthday present, and he’s the one Gabriel likes. But he puts it down and gets dressed, informing Michael that he’ll be at Sam and Dean’s house, should he be needed. The day goes so ordinarily, in fact, that Castiel doesn’t realize anything is wrong until the _next_ day.

Castiel’s alarm goes off (his Sunday alarm, set for nine thirty), and he goes to shower. He gets dressed and notices the present again. The door to Gabriel’s room sits slightly ajar, and no one is in it. The rest of the house also turns up sans Gabriel. His cell phone rings out and no one seems to have seen him. Castiel tears his room apart.

In the drawer where Gabriel kept the bracelet, there’s a piece of paper, and Castiel picks it up to read it.

_Cassie (if anyone else finds this, I’ll be surprised),_

_I love you, Castiel, and I wonder sometimes if I let you know that enough. I think I take for granted that you understand my continued presence in a place I hate is due to how much I love you and want to keep you safe and happy. However, Sam and I ~~broke up~~ called it quits last night, and I thought it would be best for both of us if I left. (Sam’s a big guy, and he cares about you, so maybe he’ll beat up anyone who treats you bad [although let’s face it: I’m not exactly an intimidating guy, and you haven’t had too many issues].)_

_I left Michael’s gift in your room. Tell him that I’m sorry for leaving right before his birthday—just add it to the long list of shitty things I’ve done to him. You be good for him, okay? He’s only ever done the best he could by any of us and we give him a lot of shit. I’ll see you soon, Cassie._

_Love,  
Gabriel_

Castiel feels his throat closing up and tears welling in his eyes. He finds Michael in the den and puts the letter on his lap then walks to Dean’s house.

The dinner gets cancelled, and Michael doesn’t come out of his room for a week.

 

Gabriel becomes something they don’t talk about around Michael, not by any established rule, but because Gabriel was one of the few siblings Michael ever got to view as such (instead of as his children, like with Castiel; Hester was the transition, just old enough to have some memories of being raised by Mom and Dad, but it switched to Michael). For this, though he’d never admit to feeling either way, Gabriel is one of the few siblings he has that have never felt like a burden—sometimes it’s just so difficult to want to convince someone to do their math homework when you should be doing your own. But that’s just Michael’s personality. Everyone else can do what they want to do and Michael will pick up the slack. We all bear the crosses we choose.

 

Christmas turns out to be an adventure. Michael (really, Michael, Lucifer, and Raphael) has started avoiding Mom and Dad—skipping events they’ll be at, not attending family meals that include them, speaking to them only when necessary and in short, clipped sentences—so Castiel expects fireworks at Christmas, because the kids probably mean more to Michael than they do to their parents, so there’s no way he’d miss it.

Michael ignores Mom and Dad. If one of them ask a question, someone else has to ask it before he’ll answer. He doesn’t pass out any presents to the parents (although he’s the main one who buys them presents, so they don’t have many). It’s only because Castiel won’t skip them that they get a go at opening what few they do have.

But the explosion doesn’t happen until after Christmas dinner. Castiel sneaks over to Dean’s house.

 

Just after Christmas, Castiel is heading over to Dean’s house again. Right before he gets out the door, Michael calls, “Castiel!”  
Castiel turns to see Michael quickly approaching, so he waits until they’re face-to-face to ask, “Yes?”  
“Why don’t you bring Dean over here for a change?” Michael asks. “It’s proper to have someone over after you go to their house.”  
“The Winchesters don’t mind,” Castiel says. “Besides, Sam’s my friend, too.”  
“I’d feel better if you brought Dean over next time,” Michael says.  
“Okay.”  
“Alright. Have fun.”

 

“Hey, Cas. Come in,” Mary says. “Have you had dinner?”  
“I have,” Castiel nods.  
“Would you like some dessert? I made apple pie and ice cream.”  
“I’d love some, Mary.”  
“Have a seat,” Mary says. “Dean! Castiel’s here!”

Dean leans over Castiel’s chair and kisses him.  
“I love you,” Castiel says.  
“I love you, too,” Dean says, taking the seat next to Castiel. “What’s up?”  
“Michael wants me to have you over next time we meet up.”  
“Well,” Dean slides his hands under Castiel’s shirt, “I don’t know how well I’ll be able to keep my hands off you,” he places a kiss on Castiel’s neck, “but I guess I could try.”  
Castiel wraps an arm around Dean’s neck and kisses him. “I’m not fond of having to keep mine off you, either.”  
Mary plops Castiel’s plate down, “That’s enough, boys. Dessert first, then take it up to your room.”  
“Yes, ma’am,” Dean says, sliding back, but he runs his hand over _that spot_ on Castiel’s stomach that always makes him shiver, and Mary and Cas glare at him. Dean winks at Castiel, “Sorry.”

“So, when would you like to come over?” Castiel asks.  
“Tomorrow is fine with me, if you guys don’t have plans,” Dean says.  
“That should be fine,” Castiel agrees. “Where are you going?” Dean gets a fork and sits back down, taking a bite of Castiel’s pie. “Dean,” Castiel glares. Dean kisses his nose.

The next day, Dean comes over. Castiel thinks it’s the little things that get them caught—the things they don’t think about. The way Dean sits too close on the couch or the way Castiel guides Dean with a hand on his back. The little touches done on instinct and aborted too late. Michael asks to speak to Castiel privately.

“Dean Winchester is DW, yes?” Michael asks.  
Castiel lowers his head. “I’m sorry.”  
“Why? You, of all people. Why did you lie?”  
“Because it’s a stupid rule! I’m doing just fine in school, and I was only struggling before because I had to hide a long-distance relationship. Balthazar’s soulmate lives on the other side of the country and his grades haven’t dropped,” Castiel says. “I wasn’t going to, but it was just me and Gabriel—” Castiel can see Michael’s minor flinch at the name, “—and I found his bracelet and I told him I wanted to find my soulmate, but I booked the hotel that his coordinates were at. It’s stupidly romantic, to have taken place in a field where other people were shouting their soulmate’s initials,” Castiel laughs. “When I got out of the car, the shouts were so loud and all at once that I couldn’t hear if any were mine. I found the coordinates, and there was this beautiful boy lying in the grass, lit by the sunset, and he looked over and asked if he could help me. It took him a moment after I asked if he was DW, but then he jumped up and asked if I was CN and _kissed me_. He didn’t even tell me what DW stood for first!” By now, Castiel’s grinning like an idiot. “Then he got embarrassed, apologized, and told me his name, and we went to get dinner.”  
“That’s when,” Michael pauses before saying the name, “Gabriel and Sam met.”  
“The next morning, I believe. I had Gabriel’s bracelet, and Dean was telling me about his brother Sam, and I realized that Gabriel’s initials were SW. We called Sam to ask for his coordinates, and they were the same,” Castiel says. “Are you gonna tell Mom and Dad?”  
Michael shakes his head. By now, Michael’s grown so disillusioned with their parents that Castiel didn’t expect him to tell. “Keep your grades up, and everything’s fine.”  
“Thank you,” Castiel says.

Castiel and Dean settle down without the pressure of avoiding exposure. Castiel gets his homework and does it with his feet in Dean’s lap, Dean rubbing his ankle absently while watching television. Michael and Janette eventually come in and watch whatever movie is on TV with Dean, and it’s nice. Castiel’s relieved that he doesn’t have to hide anymore.

 

That January, just before Sam and Castiel go back to school and just after Dean starts in the engineering program at a local university, Sam sells his first painting. It sells under the name Samuel Singer (he went a little crazy after Gabriel left and wanted to change his initials, but he still goes by Sam). He’s very hot with the dark, broody crowd and the “deep” crowd, and he quickly sells all the paintings he has—even one off Mary’s wall, which gets him grounded. By the time graduation rolls around, he’s gotten some pretty good money in the bank, and his paintings begin to lighten up.

 

Janette gives birth to a happy, bouncing baby boy in April. They name him Anthony Gabriel.

 

In May, Sam gets an agent. She gets ten percent of the profit, but she sells the paintings for at least twenty percent more than Sam would have.

 

Castiel isn’t sure if it surprises him. His alarm goes off (his summer alarm, set at ten) and he gets up to take a shower. He gets dressed and then goes into the kitchen for breakfast—since Michael and Janette didn’t leave yesterday, they might have left him some of whatever they had this morning. Held down by a tray of cinnamon rolls is a note.

_Castiel,_

_I’m sorry to do this so abruptly and via note. Mom and Dad have left for the summer by now, and the others are gone to visit their soulmates, so that just leaves you in the house. It probably doesn’t strike you as strange that no one is home, but I didn’t want to wait until the end of the summer for you to find out. Several months ago, Lucifer, Raphael, and I started an online business. The need for a physical office has grown and we’ve moved to California. Call us when you begin moving to Massachusetts and we’ll be glad to help. I’ve said goodbye to everyone else, but I couldn’t bear telling you in person, for some reason. (I guess you were always my favorite child—next to Anthony, of course.) I hope to talk to you soon, Castiel._

_Love,_   
_Michael_

Castiel understood the unstated “You’re all grown up now and you were the only reason I stayed after Gabriel left.” He brings the cinnamon rolls to Dean’s house.

“Hey, Cas,” Dean says.  
“Hello, Dean,” Castiel says, at the same time that Dean says, “Ooh, cinnamon rolls.”  
Dean laughs. “Come on in.”

“You’ve got your thinking face on,” Dean observes during breakfast.  
“Michael, Lucifer, and Raphael have moved out.”  
“What?”  
“I received this note this morning, which basically says they’ve gone to California because they hate our parents and probably always have and now that Gabriel’s gone and I’m moving out there isn’t a reason to stay.”

“Cas, that isn’t what this note says,” Dean points out.  
“You’ve got to read it like a rich person.”  
“Oh, I’m sorry,” Dean laughs. “What does it say again?”  
“That my family is falling apart and it doesn’t even surprise me,” Castiel says, and Dean wraps an arm around him. “Gabriel surprised me—he always does—but I think that I’ve seen Michael’s desire to leave since then. He’s grown so tired of our parents; they annoy him even when they’re not around, or because of it. But he’s always done what needed to be done, so I just thought he wouldn’t. Lucifer, sure—he’s made it fairly clear that he’s only there for Michael—and even Raphael. I guess it’s just… I was always raised by Michael; I didn’t know that wasn’t the norm. However, he is thirty-four years old and has never been able to live his own life. I suppose—especially now that nothing is holding him to that house—it’s his right to leave.”  
“I’m sorry, man,” Dean says, stroking his arm.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the chapter with (for plot development, not that arousing) porn in it. Yay! Writing porn is hard (haha).

When Castiel gets accepted to MIT and Sam decides on Harvard, Dean transfers to a nice college near there. Since MIT and Harvard are five minutes away from each other, Dean asks if Sam can move in with them when they go in July, and Castiel and Sam agree. Michael makes good on his word to help the move.

The apartment is three bedrooms, and Sam sleeps in the smallest one and uses the mid-sized one as a studio—Dean tries to get him to take the mid-sized as his bedroom, but Sam admits that he’ll be in the studio more often and doesn’t want to hear them in the bedroom while he’s working. He makes enough selling paintings to pay his portion of the rent without tapping into his savings most months (although he does tap in occasionally to buy paintings by this new guy, LGM—no name, just the initials); Dean and Castiel work.

In October, Castiel gets a phone call. He comes back looking stricken, and though he responds to Dean’s joking “You look like you’ve seen a ghost” with “Or gotten a phone call from one,” he won’t talk about it again. Several days later, he sneaks out, but Dean has a class and can’t wait around to confront him.

 

“So, that’s what I’ve been up to. Can I stay with you for a while, until I get a place of my own?”  
“I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” Castiel says.  
“Oh, please? I promise I’ll be good. You won’t even know I’m there.”  
Castiel pauses for several moments and sighs. “Okay. Only for a while, understand?”  
“Thank you!”

“You have my painting.”  
“What?” Castiel asks, and follows the other man’s pointed finger to one of the LGM paintings that Sam bought.  
“You’re LGM?”  
“Loki, God of Mischief,” he grins.  
“You’re ridiculous,” Castiel says. “What’s wrong with your name?”  
He shrugs. “I wanted a change of pace.”

 

Sam hardly looks up as he comes in. “Hey, Cas.”  
“Hello, Sam. I expected you’d be in the studio,” Castiel says.  
“I had to get some paints. I always think ‘I’ll do it later,’ and then I run out in the middle of inspiration.”  
“You’re worse than your brother with cars,” Castiel agrees. “What are you doing?”  
“I’m sorry, I’m being rude. I was mixing them already—like I said, muse. I’m gonna get back to the studio.”

“Hey, Sam.”  
Sam stops cold. He just stands there for several breaths and then he looks over his shoulder. He turns all the way around, but it’s still several moments before he does anything. He opens his mouth like he may speak, but instead he just goes into his studio. They both follow him.

When they get in there, Sam is throwing things around: his easel and working canvas are on the floor, the jar of water he washes his brushes with is broken, and the paints he’d just bought appear to have been thrown at the window and to have bounced off the screen.  
“Sam,” Castiel says.  
“What are you even doing here?!” Sam demands, but he doesn’t respond. “A _year_ , Gabriel. You didn’t even say goodbye; you just picked up and left—”  
“You told me to!”  
“I didn’t meant to—”  
“To what, Sam? Actually do it?”  
“To just abandon me like that!” Sam takes a breath as Castiel slips out of the room. “You didn’t even say goodbye. You treated me like I had done something wrong in needing to look out for myself, since I couldn’t rely on my soulmate to do it!”  
“How did I do that, Sam? I asked _you_ what you wanted me to do, and you wanted me to move away. So I did.”  
“But you didn’t even say goodbye,” Sam says.  
“Well,” Gabriel says, “it’s too late for that now, but how’s ‘hello?’”

Sam sinks down against the wall. “Every time I think I might be over you, you pop up again. The painting in the den reminds me of you and the color of light on a table is the same as your eyes and I can’t… why can’t I get you out of my head? Why is it so easy for you to forget me but I just can’t seem to do it, no matter what?”  
Gabriel leans his head on Sam’s shoulder. “Don’t think for a second that I forgot about you.”  
“Then you’re sure as hell good at faking it,” Sam says, and Gabriel sighs.

“You never tried to contact me,” Sam says.  
“You asked me not to,” Gabriel says.  
“I wanted you to,” Sam looks away.

“Sam?” Gabriel asks.  
“Yeah?” Sam turns to him. Gabriel kisses him.

Somewhere, Sam registers that Gabriel tastes like peppermint, but he’s more interested in the fact that Gabriel is pushing him down. Sam could push him off, considers hitting him, but Gabriel’s doing this really clever thing with his tongue, so Sam lets himself be laid down and tries to match wits with Gabriel’s mouth. He flicks his tongue on the roof of Gabriel’s mouth just so, and Gabriel lets out an appreciative noise, but before Sam can feel too smug in his victory, Gabriel breaks the kiss. He brings his leg over Sam’s stomach so that he’s straddling Sam, buries his hands in Sam’s hair, and nips at Sam’s lower lip. Sam can sense Gabriel’s eyebrow quirk when a particularly strong bite makes him moan.  
“So, what? You’re a biter?” Gabriel asks, still only centimeters from Sam’s face. “Or, well, I guess you want me to be.”  
“Shut up, Gabriel,” Sam pulls him back into the kiss.

Gabriel nips down Sam’s neck and comes across a patch of paint. He licks his thumb and says something like, “You’re worse than I am,” but then he’s kissing Sam again and it’s been so long since Sam’s seen him that he doesn’t care about the jibe. He can feel Gabriel’s thumb rubbing at the spot and says, “I paint with my shirt off, Gabriel.”  
Gabriel raises an eyebrow, “Is that an invitation?”  
“More like a challenge,” Sam shrugs, and Gabriel never was one to back away from a challenge, so he starts undoing the buttons. But perhaps this challenge. Because Sam was mixing paint on his hand and so why wouldn’t that extend to his body, and the boy is _covered_ in paint.  
Sam looks up at Gabriel smugly, “Something wrong?”  
“Nothing a shower wouldn’t fix.”  
“You’re right,” Sam says, sitting up. “I’ll go take one. I’ll see you—”  
“Please don’t.”  
Sam quirks an eyebrow. “Got a paint kink?”  
“It didn’t sound like I was invited to that shower. I’ve got whatever kink gets you to lie back down.”  
“Make me,” Sam says. “Make me _want_ to.” Gabriel kisses him, then trails the kisses down his neck to his nipples, and Sam’s never had someone play with his nipples before but he tosses his head back and lets out a moan, so he’s guessing he likes it. Gabriel pulls back and blows on it, cooling it to a hard nub, then teases it with his tongue again, and Sam lowers himself to his elbows. Gabriel grins at him—wide and pleased—and switches nipples. Sam runs his hands through Gabriel’s hair and, when Gabriel nibbles at the nipple, Sam moans and _pulls_ , and Gabriel’s hips jerk against Sam’s. Sam wants to say something sarcastic, but Gabriel kisses him and runs his hands down Sam’s chest to his waistline. He undoes the button and unzips the fly, but Sam catches his hands before he can push the pants down. Sam kisses the question off his face and lifts Gabriel’s shirt, but the position is weird and Gabriel laughs and takes it off himself then leans back in to kiss Sam. Sam kisses down his neck and drags his teeth over the skin there, his nails sensitizing the skin on Gabriel’s chest and back.  
“No fair,” Gabriel sighs. “You’re covered in paint.”  
“It’s non-toxic,” Sam shrugs.  
“It doesn’t exactly _taste_ good.”  
Sam’s face gets serious and he says, “Make a note for next time.”  
Gabriel laughs. “I’ll try to remember it. For now, though,” he moves so that he can push Sam’s pants down, Sam kicking them off then they get low enough. Sam pulls Gabriel up his body to get his pants, but their hips align and Sam bucks up. He kisses the shit-eating grin off Gabriel’s face and throws in a few nibbles for good measure, working Gabriel’s shorts off.

When both of them are in their underwear and the kisses grow desperate, Gabriel asks, “What are the chances you have lube in here?”  
“Zero,” Sam says, licking back into Gabriel’s mouth. Gabriel’s discontented grunt turns into a moan when Sam reaches a hand between them, and he realizes that they’re _still_ wearing too much. When Gabriel remedies that, Sam wraps a hand around both of them and squeezes, throwing his head back against the floor. Sam adds his other hand and Gabriel comes in a few strokes, collapsing on Sam’s chest and heaving. But soon he’s up again and on his knees between Sam’s legs, wrapping a hand around Sam, twisting his wrist on the down and running his thumb over the slit on the up, and Sam’s gone, yelling as his cum covers Gabriel’s hand and chest and he thinks, before he closes his eyes, that now they match.

“Oh, kiddo,” Gabriel says after a few minutes, “you gotta clean up; it itches when it’s dry.”  
“I’ll go take a shower,” Sam says, but it takes him a minute to actually get up. When he’s almost at the door, he asks, “Would you like an engraved invitation?”  
“I’m coming,” Gabriel says, standing maybe too eagerly.

 

“Hello?” Castiel’s voice filters through the line.  
“Who the fuck is… _fucking_?”  
“I suspected it may come to that. I believe Sam and Gabriel are having angry sex?” Cas offers. “I’m at the café down the road, if you’d like to join me.”  
“Is that what you’ve been so secretive about?” Dean asks, pulling his jacket on.  
“Yes. I knew he was flying out, but I didn’t know that he’d want to stay with us,” Castiel says. “I figured it would be best not to bring Gabriel up, and I’ll admit that there was no shortage of shock to keep me quiet, either. I just assumed that Gabriel had gone for good.”

“Have you talked to Michael? Or made _him_?”  
“I will—” Castiel gives Dean a kiss and hangs up, “I will have him contact Michael soon. I’m just giving him time to adjust.”  
Dean nods. “He seems to be doing that just fine.”  
Castiel laughs. “From what I remember, Gabriel is very… _vocal_.”  
“It’s not _your_ brother I was hearing, unfortunately.”

“Listen, Cas,” Dean pauses, and Castiel nods for him to continue. “We can’t have any more secrets, okay? It feels like shit, knowing you’re sneaking around.”  
“I understand. I’m sorry,” Castiel says. “Just, like I said, I thought it was best not to bring him up.”  
“Around Sam, definitely. But to me?”  
“You aren’t terribly fond of Gabriel yourself, Dean. I was worried you’d shout.”  
Dean leans across the table to kiss Castiel. “I know I act like a dick about him, and I’m sorry; he’s your brother. But you can’t blame me, after what he did to the two people in the world I care most about.” Castiel squeezes Dean’s hand, but doesn’t say anything more.

 

Sam and Gabriel are on the couch when Dean and Castiel get back. The TV is on, but they’re only paying attention to each other.

“So that’s your work?” Sam asks.  
“It is, indeed. I really got my shit together on the art front this year. I’ve sold a few pieces,” Gabriel says.  
“Why use initials that aren’t yours?”  
“Maybe I hoped they’d get back to you,” Gabriel shrugs.  
“I guess that explains why they remind me of you.”

“You’re one to talk about selling art under false names, Sam,” Dean says, crashing onto the loveseat.  
“You’re selling?” Gabriel asks.  
“Yeah. I… I went a little crazy after you left and wanted to change my initials, so I started doing art under the name Samuel Singer.”  
“No way,” Gabriel says.  
“What? Do you have some?”  
“There was this girl at the colony who bought one, and I guess I started collecting? Your art is amazing, Sam.”  
“Really? I look at the stuff I sold in high school and all I can think is ‘moody teenager!’” Sam laughs.

“What about a colony? You go to Puerto Rico or something?” Dean asks.  
“Art colony?” Sam asks.  
“Bingo,” Gabriel says. “Before I left for Illinois, I got an invitation to join an art colony in Amsterdam for a year. When you asked me to move, I figured I’d just go there. So I gave them a call and left the next morning.”  
“And?”  
“It was just like what you wanted. There were all kinds of artists there: musicians and writers, sculptors and painters. They valued my art instead of dismissing me. I really grew up this year, Sam. I got approval but I stopped needing it; I figured out how to value myself. So, even though I went about it terribly, I guess I owe you a ‘thank you.’”  
Sam hugs Gabriel, “That’s great. I’m glad you found what you needed.”  
“I wouldn’t have without you, Sam. I was dead set on ignoring that letter, not saying yes because I couldn’t leave, but not saying no because I wanted to pretend I could. I guess I was the same with you. Listen, I’d hoped I could do this before our brothers got back, but I was too late. I still put off talking about important things but it needs to be said.”  
Sam turns more to him, “What’s up?”  
“Do you remember asking me to leave? You said one day I was going to find someone I wanted to love, but you were wrong: I’d already found them. I wanted to love you so much, Sam, but I couldn’t. I want to try now, and I really hope you’ll let me.”  
Sam sighs. “I just… Gabriel, you gotta know you put me through hell. You can’t just waltz back into my life and think that I’m just going to be your puppy again.”  
“I know, Sam. Please, just consider? Cassie won’t let me stay for long unless you say it’s okay, so let me stay. I’ll sleep on the couch and we’ll work it out, okay?”  
“Stay, then. I don’t care,” Sam says.

 

After a week of Gabriel being constantly underfoot and Sam being moody, Castiel decides to talk to them. He doesn’t get anywhere with Gabriel, so he goes to Sam. He’s surprised to find that he’s in his room instead of the studio.

“Hey, Cas. What’s up?” Sam asks, putting his book to the side.  
Castiel sits next to him on the bed. “How are you?”  
“Fine. You?” Sam asks.  
“About Gabriel. You’ve been—you’ve both been—a little insufferable.”  
“That so?”  
“Gabriel’s always in the way, trying to be where you are, and we just don’t have room in this apartment for him to follow you or for you to avoid him, and that’s where your insufferableness comes in: you said he could stay but you want him gone.”  
“I don’t want him gone.”  
“Well, you don’t want him here.”  
Sam sighs. “I know. And I know I’ve been really moody and I’ve locked myself in my studio or my room and I’ve avoided everyone because it’s the only way to avoid Gabriel, and it’s probably making Dean pissy—” Castiel gestures his assent “—but I just can’t face him. He’s your brother and—”  
“And I’ll throw him out on the street if you want,” Castiel says, and waves off Sam’s shocked face. “It’s not just you he hurt, disappearing like that. I think you forget sometimes that he was not only my brother but also my closest friend.”  
“I do. I’m sorry. I have a tendency to look at him and think of all the ways he’s screwed _me_ over, let _me_ down, hurt _me_.”

“Could you just talk to him? He shuts down when I try to get serious with him,” Castiel says. “I think he senses that we’re getting frustrated and thinks that, if anyone is going to kick him out, it’ll be me. I’d probably have you do it, actually. Dean and I will put up with him as long as you do.”  
“What do you want me to say? Stop being such a nuisance?” Sam asks.  
“Whatever you have to say to keep him from being so underfoot,” Castiel says, and Sam sighs but nods.

 

Sam finds him sitting on the couch. “Hey, Gabriel.”  
Gabriel looks up, shocked, then jumps up. “Hey, Sam! How’s the studying going?”  
“It’s all right. I’d rather be painting,” Sam says.  
“Then why not? Why are you even doing college, with the amount of people that buy your paintings? You could buy a house and never work again,” Gabriel says. “You could rent a room to me.”  
“I think that’d make Cas and Dean a lot happier.”  
“I’m getting on their nerves, huh?”  
“Not just theirs, honestly,” Sam says.  
“Oh.”  
“Gabe, you gotta know that you’re in the way. This apartment is small, and you’ve been chasing me, and I’ve been running away, and it’s been making everyone miserable.”  
“You want me to leave?”  
“I don’t know, Gabriel. I love you. I will _always_ love you, but I can’t let myself let you in again, because it has never ended well for me.”  
“And I’m trying to make that up to you, Sam.”  
“You can’t, though. You walk around thinking that if you just treat me well enough now, everything you did in the past will be erased. That’s scary for me, Gabe. If you treat me like shit and then treat me well then it evens out? You’re _granting yourself_ permission to hurt me again.”  
“Sam—”  
“Just, try to stop being in the way, okay? I think Dean’s moving past kicking you out and into hiding your body.”

 

He works it out with Dean and Castiel. They go out to dinner and get a hotel for the night (convincing them to spend a night away from him wasn’t very hard at all). He makes all of Sam’s favorites, including some vegetarian dishes that Castiel had to tell him about because Dean would mock Sam if he knew. It’s way too much food, but Sam and Cas are in college, so leftovers are never bad.

He sets the table and lights the candles, and he’s just admiring his handiwork when Sam comes home.  
“Where is everyone?”  
“I’m in the kitchen. Dean and Cassie are on a date,” Gabriel says. “They’re getting a hotel for the night.”  
“Smells like dinner,” Sam says, coming into the kitchen. “Oh.” He turns to leave. “I’ll go get a burger or something, actually.”  
“Sam, please? I’m really trying here, but I can’t make it up to you if you don’t try, too,” Gabriel says. “Sit down.” Sam goes to the table, but rebuffs Gabriel’s attempt to pull the chair out for him.

“So, how was your day?” Gabriel asks. “You had a test, right?”  
“I did. It was pretty simple stuff. I’ve got a test next Wednesday that I’m more worried about.”  
“Is that the history and law course?”  
“Yeah. The professor is such a hardass.”  
“That sucks.”

“This isn’t exactly ‘romantic dinner’ conversation,” Sam says, and he even cracks a smile, which is a huge relief for Gabriel, because every time Sam looks at him, his expression changes to exasperation, no matter what it was before.  
“Do you want to have romantic dinner conversation?” Gabriel asks. “I’ll admit I don’t know what that is; I’ve never done this before.”  
“Really?”  
“I’m not exactly the ‘commitment’ type, if you hadn’t noticed.”  
“I’ve never done it, either.”  
“Then how do you know this isn’t the right kind of conversation?”  
“It doesn’t _feel_ romantic.”  
“Should I compliment you? Tell you you’re pretty?”  
“I just don’t know what you’re getting at. You make a candlelight dinner and beg me to join, then you want to talk about school.”  
“I wanna talk about _you_ , Sam. Whatever you wanna talk about, I wanna talk about.”  
“Okay,” Sam sighs.

“Don’t do that,” Gabriel says.  
“What?” Sam asks.  
“That face. You act like it’s such a chore to be around me,” Gabriel says. “Every single time you look at me, you make this face like you’d be so much happier if I weren’t there. Why do you let me stay here if you feel that way?”  
“I don’t wanna throw you out.”  
“I’d prefer you throw me out than look at me that way.”  
“No.”  
“What?”  
“No. You don’t get to make me feel bad,” Sam says, standing up.  
“But you get to make me feel like shit?”  
“Well, it just seems fair, given what you’ve done to me!”

“How long?” Gabriel asks. “I fucked up, and I’ve been trying to make it right. How long are you gonna have to make me feel like this before you forgive me? You look at me like that, Sam, and I want to curl into a ball in die. Sometimes it actually makes me sick, like I might throw up because you look at me like I’m… I don’t know. Like I’m nothing. At least when I was hesitating, I treated you like a person. I liked hanging out with you, Sam, but you… Lately I think you keep me around just to punish me. We may be the first couple in the history of soulmates to not make it, but I just don’t see how we can.” Gabriel grabs his coat and leaves.


	15. Chapter 15

Three days later, Sam is on the couch when Dean comes in. “Ah, Sammy. Listen, I’m not saying that I miss the guy or anything, but where’s Gabriel?”  
“We had a fight,” Sam says.  
“Shocking,” Dean says. “And?”  
“I think he broke up with me.”  
“How did _he_ break up with _you_ when _you_ didn’t want _him_? He was doing the chasing, wasn’t he?”  
“He was. He made me a romantic dinner, but I think it just all finally came to a head. He said that he didn’t see how we could make it.”

“Dean is concerned about you,” Castiel says.  
Sam laughs without much humor. “Funny way of showing it, sending you in.”  
“I’m concerned about you, too.”  
“I’m fine. Gabriel leaving is nothing new. In fact, it’s kind of his default.”

“Let’s go out,” Castiel says.  
“Where?” Sam asks.  
“We’ll get some tea and do other things Dean makes fun of,” Castiel says. “Let’s go.”

 

Months later, Sam gets a gallery exhibition. Castiel has a test and can’t make it opening night, so he goes the next night.

“Gabriel,” he says.  
Gabriel smiles weakly. “Thought you’d all be at opening night.”  
“I had a test.”  
“Of course you did.”

“I thought you’d left town,” Castiel says.  
“I don’t have anywhere to go,” Gabriel shrugs.  
“I’m sure Michael would take you in. He’s missed you a lot.”  
“I haven’t actually _called_ Michael.”  
“You told me you did. You said you’d made up.”  
Gabriel shrugs. “It was what you wanted to hear.”  
“Do you _wonder_ why Sam doesn’t trust you, or do you know?”  
“Is it really necessary for everyone to rub in my face what a shit person I am _every time_ they see me?”

“I feel like there’s a lot you need to get worked out with a lot of people. You burned a lot of bridges when you left, Gabriel, but you won’t talk about it. You shut down and refuse to have that conversation, so instead everyone just makes snide remarks to make themselves feel better,” Castiel says.  
“Then let’s go back to mine and talk?” Gabriel asks.  
“I’d love to.”

 

Gabriel spends the next several months making amends with the people he’s hurt. He talks to Cassie, he calls Michael to schedule a visit up there, he even writes Dean a letter, which he sends through Castiel, explaining all the ways Gabriel has wronged him, and that he’s sorry. He writes Sam off as a lost cause, though, for both of their sakes.

 

Gabriel and Castiel get pretty much back to normal. Or, since Gabriel changed so much, maybe it’s not normal. Maybe it’s a new kind of normal. Castiel comes over on Mondays and Gabriel makes dinner for them. Sometimes when he’s had enough of Dean or Sam or both of them, he’ll just come over to hide out (hey, even soulmates need some time apart). Gabriel likes it. He missed Castiel more than almost anything while he was away.

 

Gabriel gets back from Michael’s the week before his birthday, and there’s a knock on the door the next Monday. “Cassie!” Gabriel calls from the kitchen, moving towards the door. “You’re early.” When he sees who it is, his stomach drops. “Oh.”  
Sam takes a deep breath and holds out his hand. “Hi. I’m SW, Sam Winchester. I think you might be my soulmate.”  
Gabriel’s whole body relaxes. He shakes Sam’s hand, “Hi, SW. I’m Gabriel Novak. It’s nice to meet you.”


	16. Epilogue

Dean isn’t sure what happened. Sam’s relationship with Gabriel has always been more or less a mystery to Dean, though, so it isn’t unusual. Neither is the fact that Sam and Gabriel didn’t speak for months and now Sam’s over there all the time. This does give Dean a lot of time alone with Cas, however, so he isn’t going to look that gift horse in the mouth.

Thursday night, after he gets his homework done, Sam goes over to Gabriel’s house; it’s become their ritual. Sam mostly lives with Dean and Castiel Sunday night through Thursday night, because they live closer to campus, but he spends all weekend at Gabriel’s house. Dean appreciates the weekends alone with Castiel.

“Sam here?” he asks, hanging his leather jacket on the hook by the door.  
Castiel looks over his shoulder from the couch. “You just missed him.”  
Dean puts his hands on Castiel’s shoulders and leans over to kiss him. “Good. Why don’t you and I put on a movie to ignore?”  
Castiel nods. “That sounds good.”  
Dean laughs a bit at the formality Castiel still has and goes to get a beer.

Castiel is on the floor, fiddling with the Blu-Ray when he comes back, and Dean says, “I always forget how pretty you look on your knees.”  
Castiel rolls his eyes and stands up. “I like it better when you’re on yours,” he admits.  
Dean shrugs, puts his beer on the coffee table, and gets on his knees in front of Castiel. He untucks Castiel’s shirt and kisses the skin above the waistband, wrapping his arms around Castiel’s hips. “Been meaning to ask you something.”  
“You look like you’re begging,” Castiel says, running his hand through Dean’s hair. “I like it. You should beg more often.”  
“I’ll beg if you want,” Dean says, catching Castiel’s right arm and kissing his wrist, the metal of his bracelet cold on Dean’s lips.  
“What is it?” Castiel asks, sounding concerned; it’s not like Dean to be this affectionate unless something’s wrong. Dean digs around in his pockets, and Castiel looks puzzled. “What are you doing?”  
Dean finds what he’s looking for, and Castiel almost looks like he dreads to see what it could be, but Dean doesn’t answer him. He takes Castiel’s left wrist into his hand and slips a ring onto his finger.  
“Dean,” Castiel says.  
“Castiel Novak, will you marry me?”  
“Yes. Yes, of course,” Castiel says, and he leans down to kiss Dean.  
They sit on their knees, kissing and ignoring the movie they’d put on for just that purpose, until Dean says, “Isn’t this killing your knees?”  
Castiel laughs and suggests they move into the bedroom, and it’s hardly romantic but it’s absolutely perfect. Castiel agreed to be Dean’s husband, and nothing—not even if Gabriel and Sam came through with a marching band—could ruin this.

 

The week he finds out that Castiel and Dean got engaged, Sam is super busy with school and can’t even hold a phone conversation with Gabriel more than once, let alone see him. Thursday evening comes as a blessing, and Sam drives a little faster than could really be considered “legal” over to Gabriel’s house. He opens the door with the key Gabriel gave him several weeks ago and goes to the kitchen, which, judging by the commotion, is where he can find Gabriel.

“Sam!” Gabriel says, putting the lid back on the pan he’s standing at, “You’re early!”  
“Yeah,” Sam says, looking at the clock. Normally, he leaves at a quarter to six, but today he’d left nearly an hour early. “I brought some homework, but I wanted to see you. This week has been—” Sam wouldn’t have finished the sentence, anyway, had no nice word to put there, but he actually stops because Gabriel’s mouth presses to his.  
Gabriel smiles when he pulls away. He says, “I’m glad you’re early,” and Sam smiles and looks at the ground, half because he’s a little embarrassed and half because he knows it’ll make Gabriel kiss him again. Gabriel doesn’t disappoint, but then turns back to the stove. “Since you’re so early, I just started cooking, but you can do your homework at the table there.”

Gabriel doesn’t interrupt Sam, barely talks at all, but Sam appreciates the sound of Gabriel working behind him. After the week he’s had, it’s nice to hear his love moving around instead of Dean and Castiel’s just-engaged antics. Gabriel is still cooking, and Sam’s only mostly done with his homework, when he says it. Sam just looks up from his work, not even at Gabriel, just at the wall in front of him, and says, “I should move in here.”  
The clattering of the pots stops, and Sam can faintly hear Gabriel’s footsteps approach. Gabriel’s arms wrap around Sam’s shoulders, and Gabriel kisses the top of Sam’s head. “I’d love to have you, Sam.”  
“I know it’s farther away, but Dean and Castiel are getting married, so someone’s gonna have to move out eventually. I might as well just come here.”  
“Mi casa es tu casa,” Gabriel says.  
Sam nods his head. “Yeah. I think I’ll start getting my stuff over here next weekend.”  
Gabriel kisses Sam’s cheek. “Swing by here after your class and I’ll help.”  
“Okay,” Sam says, and turns his head to press a kiss to Gabriel’s inner arm. “Now go, before something burns.”  
“It’s ready,” Gabriel says. “I actually had my mouth open to tell you when you spoke.”

“You made my favorites,” Sam says.  
“Well, judging by my talk with you on Tuesday and my talk with Cassie yesterday, I figured you’d need some comfort food,” Gabriel says.  
Sam leans across the table and kisses him. “I did. Thank you.”

“Oh!” Gabriel says, and he looks puzzled. “I got... A mailman told me happy birthday today.”  
“What?” Sam asks, but Gabriel is already halfway out of the kitchen. He comes back with a box, just like the ones people get on their fifteenth birthdays—just like the one neither of them got on their fifteenth birthdays.  
“I didn’t want to open it without you,” Gabriel shrugs. He grabs the knife and cuts the tape. Sam reads the note while Gabriel takes out the bracelet.

_Gabriel Novak,_

_It appears there has been a mistake. Here is your updated bracelet with the coordinates where you will_ truly _meet your soulmate. Our apologies._

_Sincerely,  
The Committee_

“The Committee? Sounds like a vague, yet menacing, government agency,” Gabriel says.  
“But what does it mean?” Sam asks, heart pounding. “What are the coordinates?”  
“42° 23’ 37” N, 71° 7’ 59” W, SW,” Gabriel says, and Sam gets confused because those are still his initials, and when he puts the coordinates into the app on his phone, he almost cries. “What is it?” Gabriel asks. “That’s near here, isn’t it?”  
“That’s the doorstep, Gabriel.”  
“What?”  
“It’s where I introduced myself to you the second time,” Sam says, and Gabriel gets up and kisses him soundly.

 

One day, Sam wakes up to the feeling of the sun on his back. He starts to turn around, to see if Gabriel is still in bed, but he hears, “Don’t move.” He freezes, and Gabriel repositions him.  
“Drawing the light?” Sam asks.  
Gabriel smiles, fond and exasperated, and says, “I’m drawing you.”  
“Kissing me might be more fun,” Sam grins.  
“Later,” Gabriel winks. “I promise.”

 

“Gabriel?” Sam asks, coming into the living room in his full wedding attire.  
“Wow, Sam. I never realized you’d look so good in a suit,” Gabriel says. “Wow.”  
Sam smiles. “Thanks, Gabe. Do you know how to tie a bowtie?”  
“I do,” Gabe says. “Need help?”  
“Yeah. Do you mind teaching me?”  
“If I get to take that suit off of you later,” Gabriel says.  
“Deal,” Sam says.  
“Come here.”  
Sam goes over to him, and Gabriel shows Sam how to do it a few times before letting Sam try. It takes Sam several tries to get it, and Gabe leads him over to the couch to get them more level. Somehow, Gabriel ends up in Sam’s lap, and, eventually, the lesson is forgotten in favor of kissing. Gabriel makes a pleased, surprised noise when Sam stands, Gabriel’s legs wrapped around him, and carries him to the bedroom to make good on his half of the deal.

 

Nine months after Dean proposes (and a year after Gabriel tells him that he and Sam have started over), Castiel finds himself in a church about to get married. He lets out a deep breath and shakes his arms to get rid of some nervous energy, and Gabriel touches his shoulder.  
“All right?”  
“Yes,” Castiel nods. “Yes. I’m more than all right. I’m also just… I’m very nervous.”  
“Why? You and Dean are already practically married.”  
“I know, and I know that it’s irrational to feel the way I do, but I can’t help it,” Castiel says. “I have no fear that, when those doors open, Dean won’t be there, or that I’ll mess something up. I will most assuredly stumble over my words and probably cry, but that won’t matter years from now. I suppose it’s just the nerves that come with all life-changing events.”  
Gabriel nods his understanding and give Castiel a drink of water before saying, “Well, princess, it’s show time.”

Of course Castiel is nervous, even though essentially nothing will change except Castiel’s last name. He shakes himself one more time, and the doors open.

Castiel sees Dean, and everything stops. Dean smiles at him, that big, honest grin Dean has, and Castiel smiles back, nerves forgotten. He walks down the aisle, trying his hardest not to run to Dean, and finally makes it to his almost-husband.  
Dean leans into him and whispers in his ear. “You look amazing.”  
“You’re not too bad yourself,” Castiel says, and Dean’s laugh in his ear could make anything better.

The ceremony passes in a blur of Dean and background noise. They chose to write their own vows, but not to say them at the wedding. Dean is a private man, and Castiel understands that he’d be uncomfortable sharing something so personal. If he’s being honest, Castiel would rather hear them in private, anyway.

And then the magic words: “I now pronounce you Mr. and Mr. Winchester. You may kiss—” but the man doesn’t get it out before Dean’s mouth is on Castiel’s, gentle but insistent and full of promises. There are wolf whistles and cheers from the audience, and Castiel pulls away with reluctance. Dean asks in his ear if a reception is really necessary.

 

“You know, even all that bowtie practice couldn’t prepare me for how good you look in a suit,” Gabriel says.  
Sam laughs. “Can I tell you a secret?”  
“Ooh, please do.”  
“I learned how to tie a bowtie for prom.”  
“What? Sam Winchester, you _deceived_ me? You _used_ me for your dirty suit kink sex game?”  
Sam shrugs his shoulders. “Yeah, a little bit.”  
“I’m rubbing off on you,” Gabriel says. “Although, maybe that sentence would be better without the prepositions.”  
“You behave at the reception,” Sam says. “If you do, you can rub me—or whatever sentence you wanna form—later.”

When Dean and Castiel leave, Gabriel pulls Sam down to him. “You wanna get out of here?”  
“Yeah,” Sam says. “Let me grab my jacket.”

Gabriel prefers to drive. That’s fine, because Sam’s more used to being driven around. He says he likes to look out the window and let his mind wander. Typically, that means they don’t talk much in the car, and that’s fine; Gabriel likes the companionable silence they share. Regardless, they don’t usually talk while Gabriel’s driving, so he’s a bit surprised when Sam says, “Do you think we’ll get married?”  
“I’d planned on it,” Gabriel shrugs, “but it doesn’t really matter to me if one of us changes our last name or not.”  
“I don’t think I’ve thought about getting married since before I met you,” Sam says.  
“Rude.”  
Sam laughs, and the sound seems especially joyful today. “No. I think I wanted to marry Jess so we could prove our relationship or something. It just never really seemed necessary between soulmates.”  
“And now?” Gabriel asks, looking over at Sam, at the way the headlights of the oncoming traffic cast shadows on his face, before looking back at the road.  
“Now I think I’d like to marry you,” Sam says. “I know it’s silly, and you and I are already soulmates, and what more could marriage do, but I think I want it.”  
“Sam, I’m not judging. I’ll drive to the courthouse right now,” Gabriel says, slowing behind the line of cars at the red light.  
Sam laughs and leans over to kiss Gabriel. “Maybe we should wait at least until Dean and Cas get back from their honeymoon.”  
“If you insist,” Gabriel says, kissing Sam once more before the light turns green.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another big thanks to my beta, SuperWhoAvengeTrekLock (http://archiveofourown.org/users/SuperWhoAvengeTrekLock/pseuds/SuperWhoAvengeTrekLock), and to you for reading!


	17. Side Story

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this because FallingStarsFallenAngels (http://archiveofourown.org/users/FallingStarsFallenAngels/pseuds/FallingStarsFallenAngels) was so enthusiastic about this 'verse. Here you go, sweetie!

On the second Saturday of summer break (at least, Sam’s pretty sure it’s Saturday; one never can be sure during summer break), Sam wakes up alone. He gets out of bed and heads to the kitchen, hoping to find Gabriel. On the doorknob leading out of the bedroom, Sam finds a sticky note with a question mark on it. Sam shakes his head and laughs, sticking the note higher on the door and continuing on his journey to the kitchen. Stuck to the refrigerator, he finds another sticky note, this one with an “E” on it. Confused, Sam goes to get the other one and finds a “W” on the outside of the door. He looks at all three notes together.  
“We?” he wonders aloud. He sticks the question to the wall between the bedroom door and the door to the studio and goes to take a shower. When he gets out, there’s a whiteboard propped against the studio door. The “W” is at the top left, and the “E” and “?” are at the bottom right, and there’s a note stuck to it that says “Only 3/15? Come on, kiddo. Where’s your sense of adventure?”

Sam goes back into the kitchen and opens the fridge. Stuck to the milk, he finds an “M”. He gets out the eggs, and there’s another “M” inside the silverware drawer. He eats his breakfast and sticks those on the board, too, then takes the board into the studio with him. On the easel, there’s an “I”, and there’s an “L” on the jar he washes his brushes in.  
“Gabriel, what are you up to?” he asks, sticking the letters to the board. “And where are you?”

Sam’s agent comes over at noon to get some paintings, and Sam finds a “Y” when he’s getting the paintings sorted.  
“What’s this?” she asks.  
“I don’t know. Gabriel being weird,” Sam says, motioning to the board.  
Sharon studies it for a minute, gasps, and makes a hasty retreat. Sam isn’t able to get any answers from her.

Sam tries calling Gabriel, but Gabriel won’t tell him what the letters are about. He just says that they’re all in the house and to call him when he gets it figured out.

Sam finds another “Y” when he gets his brushes out. He decides to put on another pair of pants—Gabriel got him these for Christmas, and they’re super soft, so he doesn’t want to ruin them with paint. In the drawer with his painting clothes, he finds an “L” and an “O”. He sticks them to the board and starts painting.

Sam is surprised when his stomach growls. Usually, Gabriel comes in and makes him eat dinner by five. Sam checks the time—six eighteen—and goes to make a sandwich.

Gabriel must know him pretty well, because there’s an “R” in the breadbox, an “A” on the chips, and another “R” on the sandwich meat. He eats his sandwich and takes those three letters to the board. Counting them up, he finds he’s still missing one, and he decides to search the house for it. He finds it—a “U”—on the _Lord of the Rings_ box set, and goes to solve the puzzle.

It takes him maybe fifteen minutes, and he calls Gabriel. He keeps staring at the board, the “Will you marry me?” and Gabriel’s only halfway through his “hello” before Sam says “yes.”


End file.
